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#200454 - 01/21/08 04:20 AM Just realized.
jal_Manusha Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1
Loc: Oregon/Washington
I am 23 years old and just realized yesterday that I was a VICTIM of sexual abuse. I guess I stored all those memories in a dark place, because like many of you I felt-Responsible, Dirty, Guilty, Ashamed, paranoid that someone would know. It is a lot to process as a child and I guess I just kinda saw it from an adult perspective for the first time,(instead of a five year olds perspective). Lately, I felt frustrated in my life, even though I am living out some of my wildest dreams, I would still get extremely depressed and felt like I couldnt control some of my behaviors. I feel easily coerced, I am a people pleaser, I feel like i have a tough time being the leader in a relationships, I keep feeling like the victim i never got to be. On the outside everything looks excellent but inside I felt terrible. Yesterday I cried for the first time about this.

#200459 - 01/21/08 04:58 AM Re: Just realized. [Re: jal_Manusha]
Freedom49 Offline

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
your are beginning your journey toward healing and wholeness. Welcome. Apparently your 5 yo inside you has decided your old enough and mature enough to begin processing his pain. Most of us are here with you doing the same thing. You will be ok. Glad you found us and I am so very sorry that you need us but we are here for you. Feel free to read, post, vent, laugh, cry with us as we will with you. Know this that what happened to you is not your fault. You are not dirty, guilty, or responsible for what happened to you. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Many of us have felt the same things. Your safe here.



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