Newest Members
chairdesklamp, Bill Ohio USA, jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo
13595 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Brianna (32), Firewire (45), Floss1964 (54), gogo (47), Jake_t2398 (34)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 35 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,595 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,711 Topics
493,812 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#200066 - 01/18/08 01:49 PM don't wanna be here
evanesence Offline

Registered: 12/08/07
Posts: 119
dark black pit
this place where i live
nothing left to take
nothing left to give
my insides are rotten
down to the core
never gonna be
what i was before
you don't know me
wouldn't want to i'm sure
just show me the way out
can't find the fucking door
not sure how i got here
don't know who i am
don't care if you like me
don't care if i hate
they say it gets better
but i can't wait
my life isn't mine
no not anymore
you'll ask me to leave
tell me to go
you'll have that look
that sign of disgust
why did i tell you
why did i talk
why did i think
that there was trust
my body is broken
my heart turned to dust
my soul has the color
of bright red rust
but i can't leave they won't let me out
these demons i battle
so much stronger than me
if i had the guts
i'd set myself free
but guts aren't my strong point
i'm wasted with fear
so i'll go on living
i don't wanna be here

#200085 - 01/18/08 05:23 PM Re: don't wanna be here [Re: evanesence]
weapher Offline

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Oregon
Your feelings are echoed by me a lot. I appreciate how you put this into words... Hang in there today E.

Going to that place of isolation seems like the only answer sometimes and I understand how you're feeling. There are days I just want to disappear.

Thankfully it does keep getting better... sometimes just not fast enough.


Facing the struggle makes you strong.

#200839 - 01/23/08 11:43 AM Re: don't wanna be here [Re: weapher]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

The first step toward dealing with all those terrible feelings is to acknowledge that this is really how we feel. In an odd way, we have to own the feelings before we can disown them. Things do get better, my friend.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.