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#199315 - 01/13/08 09:11 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: evanesence]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
Originally Posted By: none

No! pedophile!

There is a difference. One cannot change the definitions established by a society to conform to their personal understanding or agenda on a given subject.

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#199434 - 01/14/08 05:22 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: WalkingSouth]
none Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 38
It's a pedophile who also happens to be bisexual....very simple.

#199436 - 01/14/08 05:25 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: WalkingSouth]
cbfull Offline

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
I would also like to add that it is very unfair to homosexuals to include pedophiles as part of that lifestyle. Healthy homosexuality is a very wonderful thing, and tying it together with pedophilia is hurtful and inaccurate. They absolutely MUST be handled as two distinct issues.

My abuser was hetero too. I can only remember him ever reciprocating pleasure once, maybe twice, and it was extremely brief.

Pedophilia shows some interesting characteristics that are similar to a disease. It can even sometimes apppear to be "contagious", since many perps were abused themselves as children and for whatever reason chose to never deal with the feelings that result.

I'm no expert, but I have a theory about why some abused men go on to abuse other children. It might have something to do with them believing that what happened when they were younger was consentual. As a result this kind of behavior becomes allowable in their minds. Sometimes I think it makes them feel very powerful to introduce such a young, naive person to such powerful feelings of pleasure. It addresses their ego in a very direct and intense way.

Just my 2 cents.


Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

#199440 - 01/14/08 05:38 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: cbfull]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Coming back to this, I hope you don't feel that guys are ganging up on you. It's just that your view isn't supported by any research on the subject. In fact all the research - and there has been a lot of it - points in the opposite direction. Abusers of children, including boys, are usually heterosexuals.

A good follow-up question, from your perspective, would be this: If perps are not gay, why do they molest little boys? Now, in my view, that's the wrong question to ask. It would somehow be like thinking that all heterosexual men are to be feared as potential abusers of little girls.

But if we turn the phrasing around a bit we get a genuinely useful question: "How do perps make it okay to abuse boys at all, and especially if they are mainly heterosexuals to begin with?" The answer is complicated, but what it comes down to is "distorted thinking". In Ken Singer's forthcoming book he has a whole chapter about this and it's a real eyeopener.

In a way it's all about rationalizing and finding excuses and false arguments. Kind of like what criminals do when the kill someone. Why do they do that when they know the penalty could be death? Why is it that capital punishment doesn't bring down murder rates? The answer again is "distorted thinking" of one sort or another: the criminal finds all sorts of false arguments that justify what he does or convinces him that he won't get caught.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#263842 - 11/26/08 10:25 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: roadrunner]
Stretch73 Offline

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
Some things are true, None, whether you want to believe in them or not. Many pedophiles who abuse boys are indeed, heterosexual. Many will sexualize young boys, but not "men." That makes them neither heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual. It make them a pedophile. However, pedophile can also be homosexual, in that like are attracted to both boys and men.

Anyway, from my standards and point-of-view, anyone who molests a child, whether the child is male or female, doesn't belong in the same category as I, a homosexual, or with heterosexual and bisexuals. They have a category all of their own, Pedophilia.

That's my two cents!


"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

#263865 - 11/27/08 12:56 AM Re: The way I see it [Re: Stretch73]
trb Offline

Registered: 07/17/08
Posts: 16
Loc: Tulsa Oklahoma metro area

I agree with Rich above, in the fact that my prep was my aunt and her abuse of me started around 2 or 3 years old and ended just before puberty. She was married after my abuse ended, but still married. I just don't view pedohila as a sexuality, a pedohile is pedohila was my aunt hetrosexual because she had sex with a 3 year boy and married a man? I don't know and don't care she was pedohile. Because of her I was a prme target for my other aunts gay boyfriend when I was 17 and then a sicko preist at about 19. All of the wrong and in one way or another the were each an abuser.

But my aunt was the worst and she is just a pedohile - actually I sent her a letter last year telling her that I remembered and that she was just that a pedohile and guess what no response at all but I didn't really expect any either.

take care and this is an excellent site


Hanging in there One Day at a Time
RB (trb)

#264077 - 11/28/08 12:38 AM Re: The way I see it [Re: trb]
Dusty Boy Offline

Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 280
Loc: Australia
My take is the Name it should be something like childhood pedophile abuse not CSA, why because it was not a sex act. It was p power trip using sexual areas of the body.
The identity, mind, aspirations, sexuality and then the genitals, anus both sexes/vigina girls and mouth. I had at least 11 perps 2 were older brothers they were the worst the chase was the thrill one was out of my life from 3-13 the other if eh was not trying to pedofile me he was grooming me I can remember talks of a “confidential sexual nature” from beginning of my memory time and he was11/12 when he made his first move I was so scared I shit myself, good turn off by the way. From 13 on whenever I was alone with the either brother they would talk grooming, setting the mood and then if I responded the right way the proposition then the penetration. They both would pedofiling the little boy that I was verbally during the process, I only let them pedophile me as an adult because their grooming talk took away my manhood and the little boy couldn’t say NO-NO-NO. The pedofiling stopped when I was in my 40’s
They were not gay, bi or straight, they were sub human PEDOFILE BARSTARD’S


#266548 - 12/11/08 07:40 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: evanesence]
none Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 38
who cares if the pedophile is married and has children, it doesn't change the fact that if he sexually abuses a boy then he is, in this case, a pedophile who is bisexual because he has a wife and sexualy abused a boy

#266568 - 12/11/08 09:42 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: evanesence]
none Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 38
this site sucks, the freakin title of the freakin post was changed, and reading these stupid posts only pisses me off, okay, to the ones who say that adult male sexually abusing a boy is straight, then keep believing that, and to the ones who say it's pedophile--it is, but he is a pedophile who is also homosexual. Someone delete this thread. All it did was make me angrier. if this is NOt delted then I am going to continue to express my anger MORE.

#266576 - 12/11/08 10:35 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: none]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5781
Loc: Lyons, CO USA
You can delete your own posts but you can't delete others'. If we delete the whole thread, we are deleting the posts of others. Should you have the power to delete other's opinions?

If you are threatening the site, please just leave. Other people are getting help here. If we can't help you, we hope you will find a place where you can heal.

Please go in peace, if you feel you have to go, but don't rain on others' parades.

Blissfully retired after 35 years treating sexual abuse

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