I did't know if I believed, and that is is what I felt and thought for years, then I had this experience of a voice, at a time of serious stress, that seemed both within and outside of my head that said "don't worry I'll take care of you" no conditions put on it.
I couldn't explain it and within a year and a half I had another auditory experience.
I had lost my father in August and my twin daughter and son were born in oct. rather that mid december.I already had two daughters and loved the idea of being a father again but never once caring if I had a boy or a girl I just loved the idea of having children.
On the third day after their birth I was sitting on my porch making the twins cradles. It all of a sudden hit me that I would have a son, someone I could relate to gender to gender. I had this ecstatic feeling and was almost laughing when the phone rang, it was the doctor at the hospital and he said'Mr._______ this is Dr. _____and I wanted to let you know that your son expired at_____. He had an aneurism in his brain and died. It was like the cosmic rug was pulled out from underneath me.
I decided to dig my sons grave myself so I chose a hill top in Kentucky and after it was dug I sat on the mound of dirt and started crying, "What kind of God are you that you would give such a gift and then rip it away?"
"I don't associate you with love!" I was so pissed, I screamed it; then I suddenly had this sensation that I was not alone and whatever presence was there was crying with me. I heard the voice like the first time, both within and outside of my head that said "I wish you could see how this fits into the overall scheme of things but for now, you can't" I had this feeling of extreme peace.I didn't, and don't, know how to explain that. I experienced a compassionate and reassuring voice. I don't know how to label it. I don't apply any religious dogma to it but I cannot say that I have doubts about the existence of God. I believe in an intervening presence and I'm content with it being unnamed, but for the sake of communication I call it God.
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!