Oooh, that does sound upsetting. It's one thing to flirt and even hit on someone and be turned down in our situation, especially if we are acting out. But if the individual then accepts and even returns the flirtations of someone else (another male), then I have to say that sounds quite upsetting.
For, I guess because I was abused by a "hetero" male, I get painful crushes on other hetero males. What is more painful to me (mostly because of memory) is if I find them hitting on females. For me there is nothing more painful. It feels like the ultimate rejection that hurts me on the deepest level I know. I don't really understand it, but then again I have never really taken a look at it while I am not fearing it.
The only dreams I remember having about this sort of thing, and waking up upset, was when I was dating this dude who had lower self-esteem than I. He was always distant with me and would never talk about his feelings. I remember having dreams that I would see him on dates with friends of mine, but then deny that it was a date. "We're just friends, you're overreacting" he said to me in the dream.
Wow, I can't believe I remember that dream. That was more than ten years ago! I guess I can relate.
Probably worth discussing with my T.
Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.