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#198221 - 01/06/08 05:23 PM How can there be a God
kiwi64 Offline

Registered: 01/05/08
Posts: 11
Loc: Georgia, USA
I am struggling with understanding after my abuse at the hands of a priest. I had always gone to church and until I was 12 and my abuse started I felt safe in Church and felt I had a friend in Jesus.

Between 12 and 15 I was abuse severly at the hands of a priest during bible class and some other occasions. I felt betrayed by the priest, by the church, my parents who wouldn't believe that a man of god would harm anyone, and lastly most importantly by God. How could a loving, caring and forgiving god let this thing happen.

I have tried suicide on a number of occasions to try and get rid of the pain, but have not been successful.

Recently I told my wife that I still had questions about god, while I still believe that there is a god and that he is my savior, I can not understand how he let what happen happen. My wife who is a christian and very committed to her faith, said that because I am questioning god and trying to understand what has happened, tells me that I am a non believer and don't have christian values. I desperately want to understand and be a fully committed christian and have a christian marriage.

I feel very empty and very confused. I know that my coping skills have been distructive, but I just wish that I could trust god and feel I am a worthy person, not this broken shell that I live in and that my wife and family see.

"the only limit to what can be achieved is our own imagination" Albert Eienstien

#198225 - 01/06/08 05:38 PM Re: How can there be a God [Re: kiwi64]
AndyJB2005 Offline

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1249
Loc: Minnesota
I disagree with your wife. I think questioning God and exploring God is more faithful than just blindly believing whatever is said in the Church. Look at how much Jesus questioned the Jews of his time! I don't think God wants us to be robots, I think he wants us to think for ourselves and find our way to him.

I'm sorry you were abused by someone in the Church. \:\( Just goes to show that "men of God" are still men -- human -- not divine portals from Heaven. I'm glad you found us though. \:\)

I can't say why God lets abuse happen. I think he just created us and now lets us make our own mistakes. Once again, he doesn't want robots. It doesn't make it easier, but free will has to go both ways. \:\(

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

#198237 - 01/06/08 06:49 PM Re: How can there be a God [Re: kiwi64]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
My wife who is a christian and very committed to her faith, said that because I am questioning god and trying to understand what has happened, tells me that I am a non believer and don't have christian values.

God is big enough to allow us to question his role in our lives back then as well as now. In fact I believe he'd rather have us ask questions and struggle with the concept of him than to just follow along blindly never questioning anything. He wants intelligent subjects in his kingdom not robots.

I too went through the whole questioning thing some time back and came out the other side with my faith stronger than ever, and in the mean time learned some very important and personal things about God and my relationship to him.

Lots of love,


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#198249 - 01/06/08 08:06 PM Re: How can there be a God [Re: WalkingSouth]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12155
Loc: Denver, CO
Andy 1 said it best, when God created us not to be robots. We ahve th power of choice, and God is not going to send an angel to magically appear the moment someone is about to choose badly, stick out his palm and command "NO!" God does not work this way. The same God did not spare His Son at the hands of His very creation.

There is a God, and He is alive. It is up to us to seek Him in our trials. And believe you me, I've done much seeking.

Andy 2

Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#198250 - 01/06/08 08:19 PM Re: How can there be a God [Re: FormerTexan]
evanesence Offline

Registered: 12/08/07
Posts: 119
life has taught me to believe, in things i can see hear feel and understand. i believe people can be bad ,i believe people can be good ,i believe in pain ,i believe in shame ,i believe in guilt .it's a question of faith is it not? if i can't have faith in things i know are real how can i ever have faith in something that can't be proven .can't be seen ,can't be felt ,can't be heard. i don't believe in god ,but thats just me. if i'm wrong and go to hell then thats what i get ,but imagine my disappointment if i believed and it turns out to be just another fairy tale ,i can't base my life on maybe's anymore, spend my life thinking ok it's all going to be resolved if i just believe.

#198257 - 01/06/08 09:14 PM Re: How can there be a God [Re: evanesence]
bp83 Offline

Registered: 06/29/06
Posts: 111
Loc: Arkansas
but evanesence, with all due respect, isn't that just what you're doing when you trust in science? It's a bunch of maybe's too you know. How can we, in the 21st century be so arrogant as to say that all of the thousands of years of human history has been wrong (which on many points it has, mind you) and we have finally figured it all out...the mysteries of the universe. I cannot for the life of me figure out how people can put their faith in mortal men who live only 85 years at best to discern the infathomable universe and the origins of life.

Either way it goes it is faith, and back to the point at hand, I'm very sorry that your wife isn't more supportive...of course God understands your questioning! It is not to be ashamed of at all! All of us wonder at times where God is...David, a man after God's own heart, pleaded with God to show himself, quit hiding, Elijah (or -sha, can't remember!) prayed to die because of his oppression, and need I mention Job! The only thing that gets me through life's many trials is understanding that while it seems that God is silent, we have no idea how God is or may be overseeing things for our good, and keep in mind that we are not living for this life. The Bible says in this life we will have much tribulation...but in the next life, God will judge and mete out justice that seems to go unserved in this wretched lifetime. He is for us!


"Life is for living, we all know, and I don't want to live it alone..."-Chris Martin

#198258 - 01/06/08 09:19 PM Re: How can there be a God [Re: evanesence]
Lou Offline

Registered: 11/11/07
Posts: 100

Hi, I consider myself a Christian, and struggle daily with questions as to why my BF was abused by his brother when he was a very young, innocent little boy.

We go to church together every Sunday and in fact just had a conversation at breakfast this morning about the number of Catholic priests that we are all now finding out abused the
little innocent alter boys.

I can only speak for myself, but I do not believe that God is the one that makes evil things or lets evil things happen in our lives.

My boyfriend recently divulged his childhoold sexual abuse to our pastor at church in a private meeting here in our home. The pastor cited verse after verse after verse in the Bible of how sin even existed during God's time. At the moment that Eve took that bite from the apple, sin began. But at the same time, no matter how much people sinned, even those that sinned against God himself, he forgave.

I believe that evil things happen in this world and to a lot of us because of this sin. As human beings we are not perfect as God is. As for people that perpetrate little children or anyone for that matter, I believe that it is the root of evil or the devil, not God. God never wants his children to suffer.

For those of you that are so inclined, there is a really awesome website called: If you go to television and then webcasts and then click on November 19, 2007, there is a really awesome webcast by a YOUNG gal Nicole Braddock Bromley on "Healing From Childhood Abuse".

So many of us have been raised during a time when all of this CSA was so much a secret and never talked about. As Nicole states in her webcast, and I too believe, it is most imperative that we and even the churches start talking about this. It is a big problem, in fact as my therapist stated, it is in epedemic proportions. We have all got to take the responsibility of teaching our children, grandchildren, etc., etc., that it is NOT okay for someone to touch our bodies and that we and countless others are here to listen and help if ever they feel threatened in any way, shape or form. They need to be assured that NO matter what, they can come to us. We can not hide in the closet about this any longer if we are to stop the cycle.

I do not believe that questioning God makes one a non believer or a non Christian, instead I think it just reminds me that I am human, not God.

May you find a little bit of peace in knowing that you are not alone just as I hope you have found that you are not alone in your CSA either, you have a lot of good support from a group of men here and I happen to believe that all of that love and support is just not an accident, but truly a blessing.

#198280 - 01/06/08 11:25 PM Re: How can there be a God [Re: Lou]
Danbuff Offline

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
I must agree with Lou in that God is the one who makes things evil. God has nothing to with it, none,nadda, zero, zilch. Man has free will, children do not. The God that I know and believe in surley weeps for the horrors that people created in his own image and likeness and do horrible things to other people. God had nothing no do with any atrocities. God's role in any of it was that of hope and inspiration. I have read Victor Frankel who wrote Man's Search for meaning, He was a Jew in Nazi Germany and held captive and treated in the most horriffic ways while witness to endless abuse and slaughter of innocent victims. It was his faith that carried him. Those are his words and his way of coping.

To imply or otherwise blame God is in contrast to the message of God's son Jesus Christ. If you believe in that or not, whatever you may believe,or that there is no higher power, or is God or think it is God who has a hand in evil done on earth makes little sense. My heart breaks to this very day for the pain I still feel from my past CSA. I am saddened by the accounts I read here as well.It was done by humans, not by God. As>
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

#198302 - 01/07/08 01:23 AM Re: How can there be a God [Re: Danbuff]
theatrekid Offline

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
I am not a Christian.

I dont understand why so many people turn to Faith to find the support they need in their lives. I think if we turn to each other and our inner self we can find all the things that religion is supposed to give us. Instead of using Faith to guide me in my life i use reason, for me it makes more since.

I am sorry you are strugling to come to terms with your beliefs kiwi but i think it is a good process to go through.


#198306 - 01/07/08 01:46 AM Re: How can there be a God [Re: bp83]
BJK Offline

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 1526
Originally Posted By: bp83
but evanesence, with all due respect, isn't that just what you're doing when you trust in science?

Science has existed, evolved, and thrived throughout the centuries based on proof and factual evidence.

Religion has existed throughout the centureis based on suppressing proof and factual evidence.

No, science doesn't have all the answers. However, the only answers science claims to have are those that can be proven.


Revenge is nothing more than another way of perpetuating abuse.

What the world needs now
Is some new words of wisdom
Like la la la la la la la la la.
-David Lowery

Having a friend who will keep a secret for you is worthless compared to a friend who won't keep a secret from you.

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