My own first thought is that your father of course should have noticed that something was wrong and should have done something about it. But at the same time it's vital that you understand that you did nothing wrong here. As soon as you can, I hope you will try to speak with a therapist about this and your other abuse issues. It really does make a huge difference.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)