Newest Members
cactus8, Neil Benesh, blazzeee, mmm coffee, Calibre09
13530 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Asmodeus (34), comeath3 (78), Poo (53), Roy (56), Skeeter (58), tazrad (46), Treehugger75 (42), waterworld (56)
Who's Online
2 registered (Tom E., 1 invisible), 86 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,530 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,380 Topics
491,494 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#196448 - 12/24/07 01:07 AM im scared
nicky Offline

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
im scared but i am suppose to be strong
i am scared but i cant show this emotion
im suppose to be strong
for some reason want to cry now
i am scared and im afraid to let it show
im suppose to be strong and i am scared
i am crying now
but i am suppose to be strong
maybe i just need to cry
i am scared
will someone please hold my hand
i am afriad
will someone please hold me and let me know that everything is going to be ok
i am scared
my heart is heavy and it is pouring out tears with alot of pain
i am scared
please don't leave me alone
i am scared but i am suppose to be so strong
i am forced to be strong
please dont leave me alone
can you see i am scared and i hate this

i found this paper at an old freinds house
he keeps a box locked for me full of some of my childhood things
i was 16 years old

i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

#196918 - 12/28/07 08:01 AM Re: im scared [Re: nicky]
Liri Offline

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 127
Loc: Seattle, WA
Crushing. My high school journals were taken by a psychiatrist when I was 17... then he lost them.

As a small child, I felt in my heart two contradictory feelings, the horror of life and the ecstasy of life. --Charles Baudelaire

My Story

#197230 - 12/30/07 02:31 PM Re: im scared [Re: Liri]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

You had every right to be scared then and you have every right to be scared now. There's no shame in that. Sexual abuse is one of the worst things that can happen to a boy - how is he to react to that if not with fear? One of our first tasks is to allow ourselves these emotions. Acknowledging how we felt then and how we feel now is so central to our healing.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.