Last night I got a call from a friend in AA who asked me to go to the yearly Christmas party at another friends. It was 5:30pm and the party started at 7:30pm so I said OK. Being in AA for over 4 years I had never went to this due to my anxiety and fears of crowds. Well I went and had the most wonderful time, We sang carols
and I got to see a lot of people that care about me. Most commented at how good I looked that there was something different about me. I told them yeah I smile now
MY truly close friends in the program, the ones that mean the most to me I disclosed to and they were very supportive and happy that I had made a breakthrough. They are the ones that know about some of the csa and know that I was not dealing with it. They could actually see physical change in me since the breakthrough. I just felt so good inside to be noticed in a good light, that there were changes that people could see that I was not aware of.
They told me I used to look sad all the time even at meetings. Now I was not sad. I got lots of hugs an was a very welcome guest . People really do care about me and I felt it for the first time last night.
This is just another tape thats been erased, the false one that nobody in AA really cared about me.
They do and they miss seeing me at meetings.
I told them I would be back but after the csa is dealt with.
I just wanted to share this with you because we go through so much negative stuff I feel its important to also share the positive.