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#195464 - 12/16/07 07:57 AM No Response to Posts
JasonSmalls Offline

Registered: 12/01/07
Posts: 142
Loc: NJ
I don't respond to other people's post. I have read a lot of other member's posts and I want to reply, but I don't. I don't know what to say really. I don't want to jeporadize somebody's recovery by saying something stupid that won't help. When I read them, I go from feeling good about one post to feeling horrible about another.

I want to say that I'm just using some of the posts for my own advantage. Sometimes when I read something, it makes me feel better. I wish I could respond, and say to the poster, thank you, but I'm just not sure. I've already said a whole bunch of things on here than I regret saying about myself. I mean, I like to be open and I sure hope people can be understanding, but I don't want to leave myself hanging out there to be hurt. I wish I could just tell people, "Hey, I know what you're going through and it's really bad what happend and etc." I just can't and I'm sorry.

I was talking to someone tonight about the piano. I've been playing for about five years, but seriously for about two years. I have never had a lesson, and I'm actually very very good. It's one of the few things I'm good at, maybe the only thing. Sometimes, when I play a song, I think about my own story, or someone else's story, and as I sing the words, I think there's meaning and comfort in those words. I don't control my fingers. They just keep playing. I can't control my thoughts, they just keep popping in my head. So many things trigger me, so many thoughts and I just can't handle them all much. But I do know this.... music takes me to another place. Sometimes its bad, and sometimes its good, but I can always admit, it's never meaningless. Maybe you should try music!

#195466 - 12/16/07 08:46 AM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: JasonSmalls]
michael Joseph Offline

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
as someone who has studied music therapy

I agree Music helps

Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

#195471 - 12/16/07 12:00 PM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: JasonSmalls]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

We are all different in how we come to and use the discussion board here, and that's okay. There are many others here who find it difficult to reply, even to a post that moves them, and even if they want to reply.

I think the key consideration is something you say in your post:

Originally Posted By: JasonSmalls
I mean, I like to be open and I sure hope people can be understanding, but I don't want to leave myself hanging out there to be hurt.

You have to honor that feeling that responding to posts will leave you "hanging out there" and open to hurt. I could tell you that we try to keep the site safe and that you would get nothing but support, but your feeling would still be there and if you responded you would likely feel you are putting yourself in danger.

It's important to come here and use the site in the way that best helps you. I'm glad you found us, and I hope you will continue to take advantage of MaleSurvivor in whatever ways help you to feel better and find answers. You may change your mind about responding to posts as you get used to this place, but then again, you may not. That will be up to you, and either way it's okay.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#195485 - 12/16/07 01:55 PM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: roadrunner]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Moscow, Russia

It is ok not to respond to others' posts until you are well into your recovery. Take your time over this.

Take care,

When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

#195486 - 12/16/07 02:04 PM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: roadrunner]
Barney Offline

Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
I think it is important that you shared your thoughts and feelings. Your opinion is valuable and could be very meaningful for some or all of us. There is so much you have to offer, like we all do and I would encourage you continue to share you. Maybe you will be the only one who benefits but it is a step in the right direction of you realizing you are just as important as anyone else.

Take care,


#195495 - 12/16/07 02:44 PM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: Barney]
James_dup1 Offline

Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Take your time. There is nothign that says you have to reply. There a lots of guys join and never even say "HI" for months. There is no time table to recovery and each of are in different places in our own recovery, needing different things. So for now Jason focus on you and your recovery. As you move forward you will be able to better understand your feeling and such. Just hang in there man it does get better and easier. \:\)


I have more issues than Rolling Stone!

#195511 - 12/16/07 04:15 PM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: James_dup1]
GateKPR4 Offline

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I still have a hard time posting esp. on some of the posts that trigger me or my experience is not the same. I can say that once I told some of my story and started to post it did get easier. Sometimes I think I post too much but I have to get it out somewhere and this is the only place I have that I feel safe enough to share my experiences. I get great feedback and support from the people here. I know its not easy but either is keeping everything bottled up inside.

I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
|| || || || || || |

#195734 - 12/18/07 03:13 AM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: GateKPR4]
Lazarus Offline

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA

I PM'ed you right after you logged on here. I hope you remember me.

I think you're a victim once again, this time an unintentional victim of the Moderators of MS.ORG, by virtue of a misdirected email reply. You are the victim of a 'sequence of unfortunate events' that has put this community on guard, and a technical glitch showed you the underbelly of this organization. I can understand how you would feel slighted. The other members of this site have also been slighted, and with prejudice have decided whether they sent their reply or not.

I hope you'll give us the benefit of the dout. As evidenced by the number of replies to your original post, I hope you will realize that you are welcomed here, and that we welcome your thoughts and input, as well as your questions and doubts.

I would like to add a request to my fellow MS.ORG users; Please disregard the aforementioned misdirected message from Ken and all the related discussion. 'Admonished from consideration' is the legal term that comes to mind.

Jason, I hope you'll soon feel comfortable replying to posts you read. Some 'innocent' reply I've made to an innoculous post has led me to significant realizations about myself. And that's kind of the way it goes here.

Warmest regards,


"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

#195748 - 12/18/07 04:47 AM Re: No Response to Posts [Re: Lazarus]
JasonSmalls Offline

Registered: 12/01/07
Posts: 142
Loc: NJ
Ummm... I dunno what to say. Is that post english, Laz?


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

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