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#195048 - 12/13/07 07:12 AM Memories... troubled
do Offline
New Here

Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 2
Loc: USA
Maybe someone can help. I am new to this website, but I felt compelled to join and write. I am over 50, but five years ago I realized that when I was just a little guy of 4-6 yrs old, I was abused by our live-in baby-sitter/s (female/s). I have struggled with finding myself going passive when it came time for relations with my wife and in various times where someone made some sexual/physical advance on me through out my life.

I have trouble even now with being able to perform with my wife,even though she is extremely attractive. COuld this all be related aome how? I am not sure what to do.


#195096 - 12/13/07 06:41 PM Re: Memories... troubled [Re: do]
LandOfShadow Offline

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Well, I never like to give advice, meaning I know what's best for you. An important and really hard lesson for me has been what I know, what I feel, what I remember, what I want, what I dream of, what I fear, ... is the key.

Read about us here. And tell us all about what you know, what you feel, what you...

I think you know the answers

Edited by LandOfShadow (12/13/07 06:43 PM)
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you

Paul Eluard

#195113 - 12/13/07 09:01 PM Re: Memories... troubled [Re: LandOfShadow]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12216
Loc: Denver, CO

Welcome to the site! Like LOS said, you can read about many of us here, and will find many who can relate to what you are sharing.

Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#195173 - 12/14/07 05:55 AM Re: Memories... troubled [Re: FormerTexan]
do Offline
New Here

Registered: 12/13/07
Posts: 2
Loc: USA
Thanks guys,I realized that another real major issue for me is that i am very addicted to porn on the web. I think I became sexualized way to early in life. Now I have this problem. I hate it!


#195194 - 12/14/07 12:32 PM Re: Memories... troubled [Re: do]
Paul1959 Offline

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Welcome. I was 46 and finally came to grips with what happened to me when I was 4-6 as well. I think the answer to both of your concerns is absolutely yes. Intimacy, sex, porn, relationships have all been affected - perhaps without your even realizing it. As you start your process, more and more feelings will make sense in light of your history. Coming here is a great start. Then a therapist is an absolute must. It will feel so good to get all this stuff out.

#195301 - 12/15/07 12:41 AM Re: Memories... troubled [Re: Paul1959]
GateKPR4 Offline

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Welcome to MS do,
I had many abusers from age6 until 17. I just found this place and I'm 44, been in therapy a little over 2 years when I started to deal with the abuse. Can't say it all had the effect as some of it did but some was worse than others. I surfed porn, had relationship problems- still do, and communication problems.
I'm still new here and have found the people here very helpful in dealing with these issues. I read a lot of posts and try not to compare but relate. Its really about how I feel about what happened and how I'm dealing with it. This site is wonderful for helping me figure that out.

I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
|| || || || || || |

#195334 - 12/15/07 12:37 PM Re: Memories... troubled [Re: GateKPR4]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Just another word of welcome to the site, and an assurance that yes, all these things can be related issues connected to the abuse a survivor suffered when he was a kid. You'll see many examples as you read things here.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#195373 - 12/15/07 04:39 PM Re: Memories... troubled [Re: roadrunner]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Moscow, Russia


Feel free to read through what other guys say here, and read some articles available from MS. You may find common symptoms with survivors of child sexual abuse.


When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

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