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#194085 - 12/06/07 06:29 PM Re: no where else to go [Re: Hauser]
sabata Offline

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1950
yea i guess i need to get off my dead ass and do something-----i think fear is one of the things holding me back--------------and how i see myself-------------not good-----------------------i wopuld love to be involved in others lives--------------------but scared------------i mite screw it up-------------or the fear of rejection -let down-------------i read some where once------------------its better to have loved-than never loved at all-----------------------------i just dont know at times---------------------steve

#194098 - 12/06/07 07:15 PM Re: no where else to go [Re: sabata]
rcm Offline

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 156
Loc: Boston, MA
sorry you are feelng shitty
why not go to the chat room and say so
sometimes talking to others help
hope you feel better

Prince Zuko: [looking at a map] How am I going to find the Avatar? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
Sokka: [cut to him, looking at the same map] You have no idea where you're going, do you?

#194099 - 12/06/07 07:19 PM Re: no where else to go [Re: sabata]
frost Offline

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?

It's pretty easy to call this place comfortable. You can come and go as you please, as someone else said, there isn't any expectations set on you when you come here. Nothing is asked of you... You can read, you can post, and most importantly, you can walk away whenever you like.

I ask you now Steve -- is the real world any different from that? Granted, when we work we tend to have schedules to adhere to... However in social settings we can come and go as we please. We can listen, we can talk, and if we like, we can walk away whenever we like.

If is your 'comfort zone'... Why not try to think of social situations as being included in the 'comfort zone'. Treat them with the same respect for the site... That you can come, go, talk, listen, or walk away at will.

A favourite quote of mine which really puts things into perspective is as follows:
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

~Dr. Seuss

Those who judge you, steve, don't matter! Those who matter, won't judge you... You have a lot to offer the world but you keep beating yourself up with these fears. Your toughest critic is yourself -- Don't you think you've punished and criticized yourself enough for this lifetime?

Wishing you all the best my Alta friend...


#194247 - 12/07/07 07:11 PM Re: no where else to go [Re: frost]
sabata Offline

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1950
so this morning i started looking up volunter work in my area-i was ready-----------after looking at this-the requirments-----------------out going helpfull skilled ect and the forms to fill out------------------i got afrade------------i saw pictures of adukts helping others-----------------i thought to myself-look at all of those adults---------i cant pull this off----------they will know as i have no social skills---------------so -so much for that---------------------steve

#194249 - 12/07/07 08:01 PM Re: no where else to go [Re: sabata]
fixer Offline
New Here

Registered: 12/01/07
Posts: 18
Loc: Central Virginia
Steve, I'm just going back to work after healing from my wreck, and blowing another job. I'm so afraid my stomach has been in knots for the last week. For now, I'm just doing what I know I need to do...kind of like sleepwalking. I know I have to get somewhere, but I don't know if I'm ever going to make it. So I just force one foot in front of the other. Please let those who can help do so, and for now, just *act* like you've got it all together. I promise...I won't tell.

#194278 - 12/08/07 01:47 AM Re: no where else to go [Re: fixer]
GateKPR4 Offline

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
There are other things like helping at the salvation army, and other non profit organizations. Most will welcome the help and it's a good way to start being part of something that adds meaning to your life. there are soup kitchens, churches, habitat for humanity.
Even if you don't have the skills there are a lot of places that will teach you the ropes of whatever it is they need help with.
Habitat also has resale stores that might need someone to help out with moving and setting up new items that come in. Thrift stores need help and thats not too demanding and are flexible.
Just a few other things you might want to try before closing the door on volunteering for something.

I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
|| || || || || || |

#194353 - 12/08/07 01:32 PM Re: no where else to go [Re: GateKPR4]
sabata Offline

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1950
yea i havent given up yet---------------the skills i lack are people skills----------------i see adults as the enemy------------crazey isnt it espically i am a adult--------------but i dont connect-------------------steve

#194372 - 12/08/07 03:05 PM Re: no where else to go [Re: sabata]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I think it's a great idea to get out and try new things in the real world, but it's also important to respect your own limits. It's okay if you have to proceed in small steps - those are the ones that tend to last anyway.

Know what I mean? Try to find activities that look interesting to you, but which also don't challenge you too severely, stress you out and make you anxious about the possibility of failure. Any step forward is worthwhile, and like I said, the small ones tend to be the most solid and reliable ones.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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