I cannot wonder anymore about their eyes
About their mouths
The wounds of a thousand years ago are yet too recent
To imagine more
I want to sit down where I am
Like a small child
And simply cry the cry of heartbreak
The cry a child cries, when he thinks his world is crushed beyond repair
I always get up after that
And trudge on
Like that same child
When I realize that crying will not make it better
But neither will the trudge, I fear
Just get me out from under feet that have no time for stepping over crying children
Or damaged men
I do not feel sorry for myself
Just a sudden emptiness
So easy to lose hope
When you cling to it so tentatively
I am exhausted really from saying the right things about it
From saying all the things I'm supposed to say
Thinking all the things I'm supposed to think
That doesn't make it better
Like now, it would be time to say that things will get better
It's just a down time
But will they?
Yet I have no desire to sit in a darkened room and rock the day away
I'd like to be
So tired of hurting
So tired of trying not to hurt and feeling guilty when I do
And, then, not trusting how I feel
Not having any right to feel the way I feel
I feel like shit, okay?
Is that okay with you?
At least it's honest
At least I didn't say that everything's okay and smile
I do that quite a bit, when I feel like shit
It's what they need
But, I still feel like shit, I'm just smiling now
Shoot me another pill, will you?
I'm obviously a quart low on something
The mix is off
Long live the mix
I don't feel, I brew
Add another this or that.
That'll fix it.
Couldn't be your daddy stuck his finger up your ass a night or two.
Take twenty-two of these and call me in about a month or two
I'll get over it
I always do
But, oh, this hurts, you know?
Like a dark wind came along and sucked everything out of you that mattered
And left your shell on a sidewalk
And no one ever came for you again.
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.