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#193068 - 11/28/07 11:31 PM Just want to ask a question to the group
newmangreg Offline
New Here

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 11
i was talking last night in the chatroom and asked a question that surprised me of the responses. So what i would like to do is ask that question to the general group.
What should i look for when i call someone a survivor of CSA?
Is true survival envolving taking pills just to be called normal, or run rampid with other activities?
What makes someone a survivor? I know you will never forget but i don't know. Does forgiveness play a part in it at all? Please respond

#193082 - 11/29/07 12:12 AM Re: Just want to ask a question to the group [Re: newmangreg]
theatrekid Offline

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
just to clarify your question is what makes a survivor? correct?

in my view a survivor is any one who was victim of CSA.

i dont take pills, and for the most part i dont run rampid doing things i shouldnt be. but I Am A Survivor.

#193107 - 11/29/07 07:11 AM Re: Just want to ask a question to the group [Re: theatrekid]
Paul1959 Offline

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
For me, A Survivor is a former victim. Until healing begins to take place, we remain in the victim mode. I didn't even realize I was in the victim mode. I was just running from the memories and pretending it didn't happen. Once I made that first step to taking back my life I became a survivor.
You might be asking also what are the hallmarks of a survivor. Don't think there is such a thing. Just look at this board. Too diverse in our healing, I think, to even begin to codify it. Except maybe a shared struggle on a long, hard journey.

#193118 - 11/29/07 08:41 AM Re: Just want to ask a question to the group [Re: Paul1959]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
For me the key question is what the difference is between a victim of CSA and a survivor of CSA. A victim is anyone who has been abused, but I think what makes a guy a survivor is his determination to face the difficult issues and work towards his recovery. I don't consider that I have "finished" my task of healing, not by any means, but I still consider that my willingness to commit to the effort makes me a survivor.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#193126 - 11/29/07 09:25 AM Re: Just want to ask a question to the group [Re: roadrunner]
ak Offline

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
'Survivors' sometime do drugs, legal or not legal. 'Survivors' sometime act out. 'Survivors' sometime drink to much, or do other behaviors to much. It is not like you are not a survivor if you are struggling or using negative coping things. A survivor to me is someone who was abused and is still alive to tell their story. There will be some who maybe still seem to act like victims, but that do not make them not a survivor, to me.


#193131 - 11/29/07 10:13 AM Re: Just want to ask a question to the group [Re: ak]
James_dup1 Offline

Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
I dont takeing things like antidepressents or such is an issue. There is nothing wrong with needing help with every day life because of an illness. That would be like saying someone who had cancer and survived it isnt a survivor just because of the kemo they took.

I think a survivor is someone who no longer lets the abuse direct there lives, but rather directs it on there own or with help of there higher power depending on each persons belief system. One who gets to the point in there lives where the abuse no longer defines who they are or there actions in life. While the abuse will always be a part of our lives and shape who we are what we are it's not the MAIN point of our direction.

Just my thoughts

I have more issues than Rolling Stone!

#193157 - 11/29/07 01:08 PM Re: Just want to ask a question to the group [Re: James_dup1]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia

The simplest definition of a CSA survivor is, in my opinion, a man who survived what a human being should not have gone through. All the aspects of this man's present life can vary GREATLY.

Take care,


When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

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