Newest Members
UniversalBeing, Squirmish20, Cunobelin, Dean-GMoT, hunterprince
13497 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
josacam (54), PhillyPa (42), sum1sun (42), time2heal (43)
Who's Online
3 registered (bluesky, LinEar, 1 invisible), 85 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,497 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,054 Topics
489,049 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#192736 - 11/26/07 09:43 PM Back to square one
rcm Offline

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 156
Loc: Boston, MA
I stopped seeing my therapist after much struggling on how to handle the animosity I felt with him. He mentioned it might be transference but I am not sure, I just think sometimes we don't click and that's it.
I have been with my new therapist three times and so far it's mostly getting to know each other which is exasperating me (and borin me) to no end.
But she is in my Insurance network which is a huge relief as paying for out of network was becoming simply impossible.
After a few weeks of severe depression in Aug-Sep I came back and had been ok until last week or so. Although I am not as depressed (never before had I experienced such a deep depression), I am back to feeling depressed and anxious.
When I go to bed it just becomes a routine. I go to bed. Toss and turn, feeling nervous, anxious, depressed. I cry. Then I calm down. WTF. I though I was over this.

Prince Zuko: [looking at a map] How am I going to find the Avatar? He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
Sokka: [cut to him, looking at the same map] You have no idea where you're going, do you?

#192743 - 11/26/07 11:46 PM Re: Back to square one [Re: rcm]

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 983
I have ben back to square one many times . But every time you learn a little more, and you moove just ever so slightly forward . It may be only .001 of a Milimeter but it is something.
I wish that there was an easy way to find a therapist that you can click with . I have stoped counting how many therapist that I have seen over the years . I think that all that they do is be someone to listen so that you can vent . The only person that can help You is You.



"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

#192895 - 11/28/07 06:48 AM Re: Back to square one [Re: OKIE MIKE]
scotia1 Offline

Registered: 05/27/07
Posts: 81
I see Mike’s point on this when he say’s “The only person that can help You is You.” I often say “I am my own best therapist”.
Healing from sexual abuse is a long journey. Perhaps the journey never really ends. There are so many days when we ask “why can’t I just be normal”. Or, “why is this happening to me”. The reality is, the only life we know and the only life we probably will ever have, is the one you have been presented with. Yes it does seem unfair at times. However, the only person that can change things is you! Yes, get help from therapists, family and friends, but don’t expect them to change YOU! Only you can change you!


#192915 - 11/28/07 11:40 AM Re: Back to square one [Re: scotia1]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Just a few ideas on therapy from my own experience, if I may. First of all, if you are feeling bored or exasperated, by all means tell your T. She is taking things slow so as to gain your confidence and trust, but if you don't need all those preliminaries I would just say, "Look, I'm really okay about talking about these things and what I feel I need to do is make progress." She may have something to say about the idea of progress in therapy for CSA, but in any case she will be glad to hear you are okay with moving forward.

Second, go ahead and tell your T how you feel and where you think you need help. Again, she will be glad to hear it. I got used to the idea of being open and frank with my T, but it did take me awhile.

I wonder sometimes if our difficulty in getting the most out of therapy goes back to our childhood, when abuse taught us the false lesson that what we need doesn't matter and no matter what we want it won't be granted. For me, at least, one of the most liberating experiences I had in therapy was learning that I really was the master of my own destiny (as Mike and Scotia stress) and that while the T was important as a guide through the rough spots, a lot depended on what I was prepared to expect from myself, as opposed to what I expected from therapy.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.