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#192642 - 11/25/07 06:37 PM They already know
onlyakid Offline

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1577
Loc: New Jersey
I attended and volunteered at the MS confrence in NYC 4 weeks ago. They gave volunteers blue MS Confrence polo shirts to help identify us. I haven't washed mine since even though I've done wash 4 times (once a week). For somereason, even though both of my parents (mom and stepfather) know where I went and my survivor status, I don't want them to see it. WHY?

"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"

#192643 - 11/25/07 07:22 PM Re: They already know [Re: onlyakid]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1677
Loc: Moscow, Russia
I think you fear labelling. It is one side of the coin that you ARE survivor and even attended the conference. However, another is wearing a shirt saying you are a male survivor so that all the people around you will know this. Remember that disclosure does not mean telling everyone. In fact, it should be a well-planned and mindful step.

People can see your disclosure in light that differs from yours, and you yourself is at risk to make such a serious step that can cause challenging and probably negative outcomes.

Give it a thought.


When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

#192649 - 11/25/07 08:38 PM Re: They already know [Re: alexey]
DanM Offline

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
You know, that is a very interesting topic. I have told my wife about my CSA and even my oldest son. However, I have not gotten into the specific details or the abuse or my subsequent behaviors over the past years. Is there any recommendations on this? I spoke with the therapist I was seeing earlier this year and she really didn't have much to say on it other than...if you think it will hurt your spouse or othes be careful and maybe it would be better not tell them. Is this consistent with what most have heard?

Thank you..

Dan M.


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