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#191158 - 11/12/07 08:25 PM splinters
nicky Offline

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
long ago during adolescent days
all you did was heap on praise

it was the world they thought of you
and my family as well who knew?

you were a rich man and wise indeed
i was just a child very much in need

you explained the rules and what i must say
and ill still never know how you hid it all away

your obsession with me really grew
and you tried to isolate me from everyone i knew

you took me on trips and gave me nice things
while the others got jealous and started to be mean

you often said without you i could not exist
i was so very afraid of this

your temper manipulation and absolute control
i felt i was dying i was losing my soul

down in the darkness you were very mad
and in the end I was always so bad

sad angry and powerless i became
i wasnt even sure if i was still sane

should life go on how can it when i know what is true
and was it realy the grace of god which saw me through

my body was tortured inside and out
was this what my purpose was all about

how can i tell anyone? what would i say?
after all it was my fault i was told everyday

no i cant tell the secret no i will not speak
or others will know that im even more of a freak

years of silence ive had to endure
after the death of my soul which is now so unpure

i convince myself that im fine and that everything is okay
until the memories come roaring back so intensely some days

emotions run wild and depression is great
and it is myself that i do hate

its like being in the ocean sinking beneath each wave
what can i do how can i be saved

at night i lay awake soaked with sweat in my bed
frightening memories running like a freight train through my head

years of anger pain and confusion i endured
all that was done to me i cannot be sure

like a shattered mirror is how i have felt
too many splinters and pieces beyond hope for health

and now its time to say i want to share this shame
and so to you ********* i return the blame

i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

#191319 - 11/14/07 01:22 AM Re: splinters [Re: nicky]
DeafDavid Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 07/17/06
Posts: 38
Loc: NM
Thank You or sharing

#192314 - 11/23/07 08:28 AM Re: splinters [Re: DeafDavid]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Well said. I always figure that abusers worked so hard to groom us and keep things going, so they may as well have all the blame as well - they worked for it.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


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