Newest Members
chairdesklamp, Bill Ohio USA, jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo
13595 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
bdr (54), Duane99 (2018), Henry_MD (60), Jimi (64)
Who's Online
2 registered (Ceremony, target687), 16 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,595 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,718 Topics
493,870 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#191839 - 11/19/07 02:13 AM I'm new everyone
Ican Tremember Offline
New Here

Registered: 11/19/07
Posts: 1
Loc: Canada
Hi everyone, I'm new. My screen name says it all. I have trouble remembering my initial abuse - you know, the very first time.

One of the earliest times, I was about 7 years old delivering the morning newspaper. I'm going up the steps to an older lady's house and she's waiting at the front door for me. She's not wearing any clothes and she appears to be very unhappy with me.

That was 30 years ago and I've gone by where that house used to be and it's not there anymore. The older lady would be dead by now I'm sure, but I know the memories of her, on that morning, still keep popping back up in my head. I just can't remember all the details... Did she invite me in, or did I run away? - Ican Tremember!

From about that time until now, I've had an interest in voyeurism. It's always been about catching a female undressed - just like I seemed to do on that morning 30 years ago, but I believe that older lady wanted to be "caught".

My relationships have suffered - I don't get off on being close with a female... the hugs, the sex, the kissing - it's OK the first few times, but then I get bored with it - I just want to pull away. I've told girlfriends that I get off on viewing the female body... viewing nudity. One of my favorite past-times is "fantasizing" about watching females in a shower, undressing, stuff like that.

It's all about female nudity and it always has been and it goes back to that morning with the older lady. I think to myself, if she wouldn't have been waiting for me there that day, without any clothes on - would I be so obsessed to this day, about my infactuation with the female body?

I know I've been sexually abused many other times my both male and female abusers, there was fondeling, penetration, etc., but out of all the times I've been abused, this day with the older lady remains my focus of today, because I just can't remember that day at all. It's blocked and I feel it has made me the troubled person I am today.

That's about it for now. I've enjoyed reading other "my stories" on this site and I feel I have alot in common with so many.

Thanks for being here.

Feel free to reply to this or PM me with a simliar story.

#191841 - 11/19/07 02:27 AM Re: I'm new everyone [Re: Ican Tremember]
James_dup1 Offline

Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming

Welcome to MS.Org... you are going to find some of the most kind careing men on the planet here. And Im so very sorry you need us, but glad your here.


I have more issues than Rolling Stone!

#191843 - 11/19/07 02:39 AM Re: I'm new everyone [Re: James_dup1]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
Welcome Friend,

Hope you find some of the answers you're looking for. This is a good place to start. Just take your time and get to know us.

Lots of love,


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#191844 - 11/19/07 02:49 AM Re: I'm new everyone [Re: WalkingSouth]
dannym Offline

Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
Welcome Ican Tremember - sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. I hope you find as much help and support here as I have.


"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.