Newest Members
Eggshells, Mk89, Mishima, B5b5b5, Can_I_Do_This
13414 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
mitzi (45)
Who's Online
9 registered (jlc, KazuKun, booksamurai, dac, 3 invisible), 66 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,414 Registered Members
75 Forums
69,468 Topics
484,498 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Topic Options
#19153 - 09/13/06 03:00 AM The derivation of FORGIVENESS
Dewey2k Offline

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
You guys are going to get tired of hearing from me.

I was at the weekend retreat and heard an interesting thing about the derivation of the word FORGIVE. Thanks go to Dale English for calling this to my attention.

Here is the derivation from Take Our Word For It :

Forgive was, in Old English, forgiefan 'give, grant, forgive' (from for- 'completely' and -giefan 'give'). Interestingly, this word is a calque (a word translated into one language from another language), having come from Latin perdonare 'forgive, pardon' (clearly the source of the Spanish and French forms). The Latin word was a compound formed from per- `thoroughly' and donare 'give.' The translation from Latin occurred in prehistoric Germanic times, the Proto-Germanic form being *fergeban.
Notice that the word FORGIVE has nothing to do with excusing what our perps did to us. Instead, think of this in terms of giving the shame they caused us back to THEM. That is, after all, where it belongs.

Forgive? Yes. Excuse? Never.

#19154 - 09/13/06 03:32 AM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Now THAT'S a definition I can go for! It's perfect. Thanks for raising this to our attention.

Don't worry, we won't get tired of hearing from you. It's great that you feel able to share all these things.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#19155 - 09/13/06 04:43 AM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16269

That is the most powerful definition of the word I've ever seen. A definition that when you think about it encompasses every possible scenario for the word I can come up with.

Thank-you so much for sharing that, and no, I will not get tired of hearing from you \:\)

Lots of love,


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#19156 - 09/13/06 05:21 AM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
FormerTexan Offline

Site Administrator

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12021
Loc: Denver, CO

that's an angle I never considered. Thanks for showing this.



Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#19157 - 09/14/06 08:43 PM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
Malidin41 Offline

Registered: 07/01/04
Posts: 140
Loc: Utah
What a way to look at it. This is indeed very powerful. Thanks for sharing my friend. Bye for now.

Mother of the kingdom of silence I have obeyed you long enough!!!

#19158 - 09/14/06 09:10 PM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6841
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...

I use the word forgive, to say, hey, forgive yourself for all the shit you went through, the hurt and pain that was not ours but theirs.

Think of the torment and anger we impose on ourselves in our non forgiving state.
Who are we hurting! Ourselves of course, by constantly letting anger control our lives.

I can understand anyone who is seething with anger, I did too, but one day I thought, hey, this is doing me damage, not the perp, so I developed ways of coping with it.

Sometimes I write in here about anger from the past, but that is just it, it is anger from the past when it felt impossible to cope, but cope we do, and we get there even through the impossible in life.

I know it can be tough, and I havent read the link, but I know the hurt that not forgiving did to me as a child, and thats all I need to know,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#19159 - 09/14/06 10:41 PM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
Stder Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 08/16/06
Posts: 17
Loc: Albion, Mi
I've heard that forgiving is giving up the right that you have to hurt someone else for hurting you.

Luke 18:10-14 Once there were two men who went into the temple to pray... for those who make themselves great will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be made great.

#19160 - 09/15/06 12:04 AM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
Ken Followell Offline


Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 992
Loc: Bradenton, FL
I love that definition of the word. That is one I can do.

Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

#19161 - 09/15/06 11:29 AM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
ak Offline

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
When I 'forgave' one of my perpetrators some time ago, it was not so much to excuse anything he done to me or anyone else. It was for me to say what I needed to say to him to take back control the situation, and take back the power I give him over me. Some time, still, I have fear or anger of him. But most time, now, him, that one person, it is not more in my nightmares or memories so much. It is maybe not what is meant of 'forgive', in any definition but mine own. But is what it work for me.


#19162 - 09/16/06 10:38 AM Re: The derivation of FORGIVENESS
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I have never heard that definition before, and it is great. To give back to them, yes, indeed. That is a 'forgiveness' I can do.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.