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#190472 - 11/08/07 09:28 PM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: mogigo]
dannym Offline

Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 543
Loc: Boulder, Colorado
"Woot Woot" is right!

Congratulations - You are an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to so many here as well.

Accolades, my friend.


"You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

Marge Simpson

#190490 - 11/08/07 11:57 PM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: mogigo]
ForeverFighting Offline

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1253
Loc: New Mexico, USA
You just wrote out what I've been feeling for the last year. I'm 39. I didn't think 40 would be such an issue for me, but it is. I'm stuck in a job I hate with little hope of changing. Here I am, half way through life, and I'm here, talking about my mom and dad and the childhood I haven't worked out yet. I sit at my therapist talking about how my dad didn't love me. And now I'm the age my dad was when I hated him the most and spending my time trying not to be my dad.

I've been applying for jobs, too. Not seriously, but as I see them come up. Maybe I'll have some of the success you're enjoying. Congratulations on the job.

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, nor will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

#190492 - 11/09/07 12:05 AM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: ForeverFighting]
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Mike - well done on the job. A 3 hour interview is something to go through. Show them what you can do - you have this chance now.

I was a long haired drop out working in dead end jobs, but playing in a rock band until I was just turned 30. Like yourself, I went into a job that I could walk through, I just got my head down, and got on with it. Around 20 years later, I don't believe that 'It's me' that has a career, and it looks like I've had one for quite some time now!

Do what you can do, and try not to let 'what was done to you' spoil that.

Best wishes ...Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#190522 - 11/09/07 02:23 AM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: RICK57]
GateKPR4 Offline

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Great news about getting hired. congrats on the new job!!!!!!!
When I lost my job and moved to the coast it was six months before I got a job. Tech. jobs are scarce down here especially in a small city. It took it's toll on me and my self esteem was shot to hell. When I finally got a job I started as a temp way below the pay level but eventually I was hired full time. Rick I was a long haired drop out also working on a dock doing shipping & receiving. Learned computers in my spare time. Things do get better but I know I have to work on my "stuff"
to get on with my life.

I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
|| || || || || || |

#190534 - 11/09/07 03:54 AM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: GateKPR4]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Well done, and after a 3-hour interview? Yikes! It sounds like this is a major breakthrough for you. As the saying from the old CSNY song goes, "The darkest hour is just before the dawn".

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#190552 - 11/09/07 05:48 AM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: roadrunner]
Grunty1967b Offline

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 861
Loc: Australia

I'm so thrilled for you.

Who can imagine what may be next for you?!

#190557 - 11/09/07 06:43 AM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: Grunty1967b]
dgoods Offline

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 622
Loc: Richmond area
Awesome indeed.
I hope i can learn something here, my work habits had improved steadily over the years, but since getting laid off precipitated my having to deal w/ my CSA "front and center", i've been feeling like ablind man in swimming pool trying to find the ladder out; i need work, i don't think i can do inpatient anything right now, i'm not at risk to harm myself or others, yet the prospect of a panic attack or random memory triggered sobfest during a job interview does not exactly inspire confidence. "self-fulfilling prophecy", yeah, i know- but so many others here seem to be at least strongly motivated to better themselves, i notice a higher-than-average number of survivors employed in technically demanding or white-collar jobs that require a high level of functioning and attention to detail. I'm not saying these possibilities are beyond my eventual reach, but i'd be lying if i said i'm not a little jealous of, and intimidated by, casual references to these sorts of positions.

I'm probably most heartened by Rik's phrase of "...into a job i could walk through, got my head down and got on with it.", somehow that seems a managable way of looking at it... (cue Monty Python clip of multitude shouting, "GET ON WITH IT!!")
thanks guys

Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

-William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Sc. III

#190558 - 11/09/07 06:44 AM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: Grunty1967b]
mogigo Offline

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Thanks so much everyone, feel like I've got another chance again. I've started over again and again and again but this time I do feel like I have so many more coping strategies. This site is a huge part of that, along with group and some truly amazing friends.

I do have some abilities that really should translate into some success in life, but....well....I KNOW you all understand. Fear is such a huge thing.

It is a huge breakthrough for me, I've been un-employed for over a year. I've been so paralyized with fear in that time I rarely left my room. I've gained some confidence in the last little while, not that it was easy to pick myself up and try again, but I did it.

Thank you to everyone here, what a beautiful place this is.

Stay strong


#190585 - 11/09/07 03:37 PM Re: Feel like I'm out of time [Re: mogigo]
thesun3 Offline

Registered: 11/06/07
Posts: 49
I'm happy for you.
I didn't find my soul mate, now my wife of 4 years, until I was 41. It took over 10 years to get my head straight enough to see past the pain of abuse and neglect. Never too late.
Again, I'm happy for you and the new job.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

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