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#189999 - 11/04/07 10:58 PM Tired of it!!!
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1569
Loc: New Jersey
When will I stop seeing happy well adjusted kids/teens on TV and in real life and wonder to myself why I couldn't have that kind of childhood. Maybe I should get rid of my DVR, because all I do with it is pause those scenes and dwell on it.

Its kind of like that 3 doors down song where the chorus is

"If I could be like that, I would give anything
Just to live one day, in those shoes. If I could be like that,
what would I do, what would I do"

Jason

(sorry, I know this is just a vent or more accurately me feeling sorry for myself, just had to get this out though).

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#190001 - 11/04/07 11:04 PM Re: Tired of it!!! [Re: onlyakid]
FormerTexan Offline


Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12024
Loc: Denver, CO
I hear ya Jason. I can't tell you how much I have grieved over being cheated out of that well-adjusted life.

Andy

_________________________
Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#190013 - 11/05/07 05:41 AM Re: Tired of it!!! [Re: FormerTexan]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1950
Jason-thats me-------------totally---------------sometimes i cry-when i see this on tv------------i am happy for them-----------but sad and angery for me------------steve


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#190019 - 11/05/07 08:21 AM Re: Tired of it!!! [Re: sabata]
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 861
Loc: Australia
Jason,

Totally there. Similar things trigger me and in much the same way. Is there comfort in knowing it’s because of the abuse? We can’t all be wrong hey?

I think at least being aware of it is a growth thing for you. Awareness comes as a result of working through things. I’m sure there was a time when you were triggered but perhaps didn’t understand the “why” like you do now.

That’s the way it’s gone for me anyway.

No platitudes like “it will get better” – just support from someone who says “I know, I understand and I care”.


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#190130 - 11/06/07 01:36 AM Re: Tired of it!!! [Re: Grunty1967b]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
You mean the world really isn't full of Brady Bunch kids and those like Wally and Beaver Cleaver with perfect families?

I hear you man, I've wondered that too about other kids when I was growing up. One of the abusive friends had a mother that I wanted to adopt me, and I used to fantacize that she was my mother and loved me in all the ways that my real one didn't.

_________________________
Eddie

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#190134 - 11/06/07 02:01 AM Re: Tired of it!!! [Re: EGL]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jason,

I hear you, bro, but let me tell you. I lived in a pretty caring and solid home, and the abuser STILL sniffed me out and got to me - me and at least 7 others, most of whom were also from "good homes".

Anyway, did you hear that Wally and Beaver both turned out to be crackheads or something like that?

We're living a real life, Jason, with all its genuine problems and unfair obstacles - not a TV fantasy. That takes a special kind of courage and we need to credit ourselves for that.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#190315 - 11/07/07 08:15 AM Re: Tired of it!!! [Re: roadrunner]
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1569
Loc: New Jersey
Eddie/Larry,

Its not the Brady Bunch fantasy I wish I had, just maybe a childhood without the emotionally crippling abuse that left me isolated, alone and confused.

Jason

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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