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#189512 - 11/01/07 07:51 PM brain in sludge
tartugas Offline

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
So I had to do a really hard 16 hour day yesterday at work. And all day today I've been feeling really run down. This isn't unusual, as I often have to work long, days on an odd schedule.

What is different is my reaction to it today. Normally, when I get this beat down, I start attacking myself when I wake up and look around. I see my apartment's messy, I feel behind on twenty other projects I want to do, and then all that my body not feeling right stuff really gets close to triggering me into a self-abusive frame of mind. But today, the though popped into my head, "Of course I feel tired, I busted my ASS yesterday. Tomorrow I'm going to feel much better."

God what a nice feeling. This may be one of those changes and subtle vibrations that Mike Lew told us to keep and eye out for after the workshop I did with him at the conference last week.

"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

#189515 - 11/01/07 08:22 PM Re: brain in sludge [Re: tartugas]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I'd be surprised if it isn't something like you suggest. The workshop was amazing and it led into an equally powerful conference where we had the chance to try out and consolidate things we were learning. It's going to take me quite a while to process everything, and it sounds like you are grinding along in the same (good!) way.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#189555 - 11/01/07 11:47 PM Re: brain in sludge [Re: roadrunner]
MemoryVault Offline

Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Chris --

That's really cool. We did "run a marathon" this past weekend in a lot of ways, and I know what it's like to blame yourself for not feeling good or getting overwhelmed. I think that more patience and understanding for myself is the main feeling I took home this week, and I'm trying to hang onto it. Sounds like you're working on the same stuff.


#189562 - 11/02/07 12:56 AM Re: brain in sludge [Re: MemoryVault]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
I'm 2 1/2 months out of my Mike Lew retreat and I'm still getting blind-sided by these little discoveries.

I dont know if you guys got to do the beating-bag, but I was stopped in my tracks this past weekend by a flashback of my session at the bag. I felt SO sad for some reason.


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