So I had to do a really hard 16 hour day yesterday at work. And all day today I've been feeling really run down. This isn't unusual, as I often have to work long, days on an odd schedule.
What is different is my reaction to it today. Normally, when I get this beat down, I start attacking myself when I wake up and look around. I see my apartment's messy, I feel behind on twenty other projects I want to do, and then all that my body not feeling right stuff really gets close to triggering me into a self-abusive frame of mind. But today, the though popped into my head, "Of course I feel tired, I busted my ASS yesterday. Tomorrow I'm going to feel much better."
God what a nice feeling. This may be one of those changes and subtle vibrations that Mike Lew told us to keep and eye out for after the workshop I did with him at the conference last week.
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence