I have a question, I guess. Start out here: because as a kid I had no recollection of the csa I experienced before 4, I had no idea that my thoughts were influenced by it. So, I always had these thoughts that my penis was horrible and ugly and a bad thing. As we'll do, I created reasons to justify the thoughts. I decided I was too small (even as a kid when everyone was still undeveloped) and that, because I was uncircumcised, I was a freak. Nobody EVER told me that all boys begin THAT way and I just thought I was a freak and they were all normal.

So, I live this way. Then, in late teens, I fall into a relationship with Jay (mentioned in previous posts) and he seems to worship my penis. It's almost scary to me because I hate my penis so much.

Now, many years later I need to know.... is there any advice out there on ways you guys have been able to simple "like" your penis again (or maybe for the first time)? I see it and even at 45 yo think "bad news." I will appreciate your insight here. I hope no one thinks this is strange, I just some advice.