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#187621 - 10/17/07 04:12 PM Re: Here's your chance (Speaking to an abuser) [Re: VN]
RICK57 Offline

Registered: 12/31/03
Posts: 1611
Leosha - I hope you are well.

I have confronted the perv that abused me, not long after I achieved a conviction against him in court.

It was when I was walking into a local store, just as he was leaving. He was blinded by the sun and didn't realise who I was. He said 'now then son', which is a typical greeting of an older male to a younger male in this country. It does not indicate any biological relationship.

I was thrown by the fact that he had spoken and that I had actually seen him face to face so soon after the court case, and couldn't react instantly. I went into the shop and bought what I had gone for. I then got my composure back and decided to confront him.

I went over the road to the betting (gambling) shop that I knew he would be in. I waited outside until he came out. I said that I needed a word with him. I said that I was not his son, that I would never be his son, and that I didn't want him speaking to me ever again. He pretended not to know who I was and just tried to get away. I told him that I was the first person that had complained about him, and that it was me who took him to court (he obviously knew this anyway). He said 'sorry about that', but obviously didn't mean it. I was so caught up in the moment, that I forgot to ask ythe one question I needed to! 'Why did you do it'. I know that the answer (if I got) one would be meaningless.

What I did see from our one sided conversation, was that I was now the one with the power - he was so chicken, just trying to get away all the time, that I felt nothing but contempt for him.

Next time I see him, I intend to ask that question! Why?

I don't expect much of an answer!

Best wishes whatever you decide....Rik

*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!

#188439 - 10/23/07 09:15 AM Re: Here's your chance (Speaking to an abuser) [Re: RICK57]
Leosha Offline

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Thanks for all the responses. It is still rather 'up in the air', what I'll do with this. But I will post whatever happens.


Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

#188545 - 10/24/07 04:03 AM Re: Here's your chance (Speaking to an abuser) [Re: Leosha]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon

I will just wish you a "good" outcome with this. What to say? I'm sure that if you do this you will do it well, but if it doesn't come out well, so be it. It's not like you owe him anything anyhow what with the evil he brought onto your family.

You have our thoughts and concern leading up to this and our support regardless of how it "turns out"

Lots of love,


"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

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