I came here New Years Eve, 2003 heading into 2004 (abused Autumn of 1969).
What a mess I was at that time (from 1969 until I came here). I was ready for leaving the planet.
It's been a long journey!! Found strength here... many, many people helped. You gave me the strength to take it all to court, I made my statement to the police 17th Oct 2004 & finally achieved conviction 17th March 2006. What a journey! When you walk out of court, whatever the verdict, it doesn't end there. You wake up the next day and wonder what you have to keep in your head now that you have dealt with that!?!? All your life, it has been bubbling away in the back of your head, then suddenly it's like everybody seems to think 'it's over now, you've dealt with it'! Move on! Those people didn't even know it had happened until 3 decades afterwards - that's a long time to keep it to yourself!
Well there's the difficult bits, like 'it's never really over, no matter what, but it does get better, you can take the power back'.
We're very busy at work (sorry I'm going off on tangents again, just want to say how it is right now), a time of change yet again - it's been really busy during my breakdowns (x3 prior to court case) and just got busier since.
I'm rambling, but where I want to get to, is that I now have my 4th Goddaughter. The oldest is about 25 years old, with a son of her own. The youngest is about 5 months. I was really chuffed to be asked to be Godfather this 4th time. The Christening was 30th September & I held her all the time, keeping her entertained (during the service). I was apparently a star (even covered in drool). Last Sunday, they actually had a second service where they lit a candle and placed 'wire people' on a tree with our names on (part of the family).
What you may find strange about this, is the fact that I don't believe in organised religion (although I think there is some form of higher power...just don't know really). What I do know, is that I want to be there for this child and help her to be the best/safest person she can.
She is a very placid baby, but every time anyone tried to take her away from me in Church, she cried. I hope every child in the future has the life I wish for her!
I had no hope when I came here, now I am considered a suitable role model for a blank canvas of a child (again)!
I think I am even starting to feel really happy again!
Best wishes ..Rik
*Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
*I was seeking a way of expressing my anger - I found hope!
*There are many battles before the war is won! It can be won!