Originally Posted By: violet
So, I happened to read an article Hauser recommended yesterday which had a link to the national sex offender registry. I looked at the offenders in my county and saw my elderly neighbor's last name, so I clicked on the photo and it was my neighbor's nephew who is over at her house almost every day checking on her.

We bought this house because it had a nice yard for our three children to play in away from the street.

He served time- two different times for sexual assult of young girls and abduction. He was a stranger to them. It's not like it happened once. But even then, once is too many times!


You want to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but I don't do that anymore, especially about this subject.

I swear, it's like I can't get away from the abuse.

And don't even ask how my spouse reacted to this news.

I am so angry fight now I can't see straight!

Other than talk to our kids about it and watch them like hawks, what else can you do?


Dear V.,
I just want to say that it is clear that hysteria and anger will do little to keep your children safe.

Which is why the Sex Offender registry is questionable in its effectiveness. Does it really stop abuse? Does it really just provide a false sense of security?

Why do I say this?

Not to criticize you or your desire to protect your kids, but because of my own family's experience.

While my mother was warning other families about the sex offending son of the babysitter next door, her own son had already been abused almost daily for years by ANOTHER CHILD and had already abused her other kids.

Most abusers are someone you already know and trust. I say this not to frighten you, but because this is the reality of the situation.

While parents are concerning themselves about a sex offender next door, at that very moment, their children could be being abused by another child, their basketball coach, or their own cousin.

Other than educating children and keeping the lines of communication open, there is not much that we can do.

If my parents had educated us as children, listened to us, and related to us in a way that had made us feel safe and believed as children, then maybe my sexually abused brother would not be sitting in jail today, having caused everyone involved untold heartache and pain.

Take care,

Edited by evanescentjoy (11/04/07 08:31 PM)
"Become who you are." -Nietzsche