Welcome to MaleSurvivor. I'm glad you found us.
There are a lot of people here who can't remember everything that happened to them. I can't remember everything that happened to me, and what I do remember is fragmented.
I recommend that you read the posts on the site and ask questions. Also look up information on the internet regarding PTSD and treatments. I'm sorry to say that there is no overnight fix for what happened to us, but you're in the right place to start working on your recovery.
If you aren't in counseling, I highly recommend you find a counselor who specializes in male sexual abuse, or if you can't find one, a counselor who specializes in abuse and/or PTSD. If you can find a therapist that does EMDR
it may help. Give each therapist a few visits to see if you are comfortable with them, and if you're not, move on.
Again, welcome, and take care,