Man, Jarrad, I really admire your dedication to taking responsibility for yourself.
I could list so many things here that I have done in my life that I regret and feel shame about too. I take responsibility for my role in those things.
But if I wasn't willing to acknowledge how feeling hurt, afraid and powerless contributed to those actions, I might still be doing them, and that would be fucking terrible.
I think Adam's cough analogy is too simple for me personally. Among other things, most of us here are not kids. Sort of reminds me of these new studies that show going to work when you have a cold is actually really irresponsible and that employers should *encourage* you to stay home from work in the interest of the larger group. A kid has no control over that usually but adults do.