i keep wishing i could go backwards in time and save everybody. kinda stupid though.
That's not stupid at all, bro. It's a kind and compassionate thought and says a lot about Nyjah.
We can't go back, but what we CAN do is work in the present and future to help ourselves and each other. The friendship that you and Adam have is such a powerful and good thing for you guys in both those ways. Keep "being there" for each other. Sometimes we regret it when that's all we can do, but that's already a hell of a lot.