I think leaving would be rather harsh without trying the other way first ..... become yourself again, jump into the lake, sing at the table, do whatever you want to do.
Teach your children to be free spirits too ......... and let your husband deal with it as he may.
If he feels grumpy - let him. If he shouts - let him. If he stomps out of the house - let him. Just tell him you all love him and you'll be there for him when he's reasonable. It's not his place to assert his unreasonable authority on the family - it's his place to help you raise your children to become good honest self-sufficient confident young adults.
If he won't join you as an equal parent, do it alone and let him take his own route. If he wants to leave, he can, but you just hold your ground and be with your children as they learn to love their home and their life.
CSA is shit, we all know that; living with a survivor can be shit sometimes - but it's no excuse for frightening and stifling your own children.
"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” --- Eleanor Roosevelt