No need to apologize at all. You're asking a very important question here:
why is it that it seems so wrong and cruel that it happened to you but it seems so logical and deserving that it happened to me, like for you it was senseless cruelty, for me it was just something i had to learn
Do you remember how we talked about this one day in chat? The basic problem here begins with the fact that for a child the world centers around himself and what he wants and needs; his life is about getting those things and learning, as he goes, how complex this can get. But that's what growing up is about: How can I get what I want and need and still get along with the rest of the world?
But the key here is that the boy sees the world as centered around himself. That's not selfishness - it's childhood.
So what happens when the boy is abused? He wants to know why this is happening, and because the abuse is usually coming from someone he knows and trusts and perhaps loves, he doesn't blame that other person - he blames himself instead. And very often, like in your case, the abuser contributes to that by telling the boy crap like you heard: "suck it up", "be a man", "this is for your own good".
Because of this the boy will learn to feel all kinds of bad feelings about himself: shame, guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness, and so on. Even after the abuse ends those feelings are still with him; they're part of how he feels
about himself as a guy.
But like I said, those are feelings about himself, not about anyone else. So he doesn't have any trouble at all seeing that other guys didn't deserve what happened to them. Those other guys are not him.
His bad feelings are feelings about himself and no one else.
This is why you can see that Buzz so totally did NOT deserve to be hurt like he was. You can feel for him and you can easily reach out to him. But as soon as you turn to yourself those old feelings are in the way.
Think of it like this. You are sitting in a room looking at someone; you see them for exactly who they are - and you like them. But then you look at yourself in a mirror that is old, cloudy, and warped a bit. You DON't like what you see, of course.
But is that image accurate? Nope. It's a distorted one, and what you have to do is remember that every time you look into that bad mirror, that's what you will see. You need to remember that the image is you somehow, but badly distorted.
Recovery is about finding and installing a new mirror.