Tell me why you let me know
Tell me why you let me see
Tell me why you let me feel
I was happy in oblivion
Happy being sad without reason
Happy merely being a depressed personality
Suicidal for no apparent reason
Just sort of sad and down
And then you let me see
Who are you that you kept it all a secret and then opened up the door to childhood horror?
Was it a need of yours to watch me squirm
See me die a thousand deaths
Watch me try to find my child and save him
Even as he was finding me to tell me he would be all right
Had known this horror all along
Had coped his own way
Done his thing
Hidden deeply away inside
He saved me, you know.....my child
Wouldn't let me go
Wouldn't let me kill myself
He the stronger of we two
He the one who understood
Had borne the pain for all those years
"I'm fine," he said. "See, look at me. I'm fine."
"But you.....you're dying on your feet. Sit down. Talk. I'll tell you all. It's not so bad. Others had it worse. It hurts, but not so much now that you know."
And, finally, he brought me around
Got to know me
Held me up
And now, we hold each other up....day by day.
He one day and I the next
With the help of friends
And those we love
And the precious ones who dare to love us in return
We have learned love, you know
An amazing thing
And know now that there was something wrong with "him"
Something quite perverse
And we'll forgive him, by and by, I guess
But not too soon
Not before we've learned to hate the things he did
I guess I really I had to know
Otherwise I'd have never met the child
An amazing little guy
So very strong
And full of love
A love no one ever seemed to want or need
Until, suddenly, out of nowhere, there was me.
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.