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#175764 - 08/25/07 07:08 PM Pain from the past

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
I got a phone call from my mum, we have not spoken in a couple of years.
She told me that she would ring back with some news. I have sat here waiting for the call, not wanting to, i dont want to speak to her.
But something is holding me here.

I just got the phone call, had to get out of the house. She fucking dared to say she had been in touch with my stepdad, and he wanted to talk to me. I lost it and blew up on her, she knew this was happening but did nothing, until it was too late.
She told me to calm down and stop overreacting, as it happened years ago. and he is sorry.
Years ago i see and feel it everyday and when i close my eyes its there.
How could she talk to that thing.

Sorry but this week everything has gone wrong, i feel like im overloading. Its a fucking mess.

Had to get it off my chest, god what a mess. The one time i try to sort myself out and all hell breaks loose. I feel like shutting down again and disapering into the shadows yet again.



#175770 - 08/25/07 07:31 PM Re: Pain from the past *DELETED* [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
ttoon Offline

Registered: 06/20/07
Posts: 977
Post deleted by ttoon

Edited by ttoon (08/25/07 07:37 PM)
checkin out for a few weeks... whistle

#175780 - 08/25/07 08:40 PM Re: Pain from the past [Re: ttoon]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Mothers are incredible sometimes. Yours seems to have her heart in a typically motherly place: aiming to restore the stability of the family - "we are all family and that's what's important". Too bad she didn't think of that years ago.

She probably doesn't understand how devalidating her comments are; to be told get over it and it was a long time ago in the same call is a pretty heavy hit.

You might want to consider Dave's alternative: if she's determined not to help you and acknowledge the harm that was done to you, then fine, cut of ties with her. Your recovery IS this important.

But if it's just a matter of ignorance, perhaps she needs to read something like Mike Lew's book to get an idea what you're going through.

Either way, there's no way in hell she should expect you to do what she has in mind. As I said, her attitude is pretty typical of mothers trying to mend the damage that abuse does to a family without any real knowledge of the harm it has done to the victim.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


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