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#174523 - 08/20/07 08:52 PM Re: Need help with disclosure to GF [Re: Kathryn]
heismyworld Offline
New Here

Registered: 07/31/07
Posts: 25
I think face to face too. As a spouse of a survivor, I can say when the word abused came from my husband, it sent a shock throughout me. It also made me want to hug him quickly. Also if you plan to tell her how you've dealt with it (acting out, depression, etc.), in person would be a very good way to tell her.

It is great you are telling her now. I don't know your ages or how long you've dated, but your getting help now instead of later in life is great. You and she both will be able to handle things much better then having more years in your story.

God bless,

#174524 - 08/20/07 08:52 PM Re: Need help with disclosure to GF [Re: Kathryn]
BruisedSpirit Offline

Registered: 06/26/07
Posts: 192
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Thanks, everyone.

I felt overwhelmed last night and I think that the prospect of not having dealt with this for yet another week was getting me down.

I had just returned home from my gf's place and the two hour drive home was filled with nothing but regret. I hated the fact that I didn't have the strength to talk to her about this on the weekend and I just wanted to be done with it.

I think I knew last night the the email idea was the wrong way to go about it. Even as I typed my first post in this tread, I felt weird about it. It felt wrong.

I realized today that I have never said the words out loud, I've never said, even just to myself, "I was sexually abused" or "I was raped". I still can't. Not out loud. It scares me and I don't know how I'll be able to say that to her.

I have tried to type exactly what I want to say to her, but it's not going well. I just can't seem to get down on paper, exactly what I want to say. What's worse, as I was trying to type some of it today, I heard a song on the television that made me stop what I was doing and I just wanted to cry. The song was "Easy Silence" by the Dixie Chicks. Now, I'm not really a fan, but at that moment in time, the chorus of that song hit me really hard.

"Easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay"

I wish tell B that those words remind me of her.



#174535 - 08/20/07 10:12 PM Re: Need help with disclosure to GF [Re: BruisedSpirit]
Agape Girl Offline

Registered: 07/25/07
Posts: 120
Loc: New Jersey, USA
Bruised Spririt;

Everyone has said everything I might have said to you, I'm new here and my b/f disclosed to me almost 2 months ago, through a letter. My senario is different, like everyone's but it put a thought in my head reading all your posts. How I wished I could have held him, or let him see my "okay-nees" in my eyes, for him not to be afraid in telling me. She must be special, but your choice is your own. Be strong and take with you some great lyrics to a new song I've found, "You're standing on the edge of something good!" (I BELIEVE THAT).

be well,

means selfless love of one person for another
without sexual implications
(especially love that is spiritual in nature)

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