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#173477 - 08/15/07 07:58 PM child obssessed with porn need healthy coping idea
glad2beme Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 8
I have just started figuring out I am a victim of childhood sexual abuse. I have many issues to work on and not sure where to go first for myself. The issue I have the greatest concern for is my 15 year old nephew developmentally about 8 yo. He to has been a victim of some form of sexual abuse and refuses to talk about it. Which I understand, the part that drives me crazy and I don't know what to do about is his obsession with porn. I have none available in my home he obtains it from various places but mostly from friends computers or teachers computers at school. I find myself getting irate ( my issues not his) and i know it is not healthy. We are in counseling but it doesn't seem to get better. This is not something I am well equipped to handle because the way i was treated growing up was very rigid strict and condeming. That is not healthy in the least bit. Anyone raising children have positive alternative ideas I would be glad to listen.

#173484 - 08/15/07 08:33 PM Re: child obssessed with porn need healthy coping idea [Re: glad2beme]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey

Hi and welcome. Sorry this is going to be short, but I'm at work and expecting an appointment.

I'm sure you will get some good feedback here. The one thing I have to say at the moment is that rigid and strict when it comes to behaviors that are plain and simple not acceptable in the family is not necessarily bad. The condeming and/or shaming is not good; you obviously won't go there because you know how awful it is, but telling your nephew that certain things he's getting into are not OK is perfectly fine.

Also, this kid is 15, his fixation with porn may just be the natural curiosity that comes with being a teenage boy. He's gonna check it out. I suppose one of the questions I have is what kind of porn. Is it simply naked people? couples? gay porn? lesbian porn? S & M? really demented stuff?

You say your nephew was abused and that you are both in counseling - that's fabulous and helpful. Could you bring this up in a session? If you're apart during counseling, can you talk to his T and have s/he bring it up to him?

Sorry, probably more questions than answers.

ROCK ON.........Trish

If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#174414 - 08/20/07 02:35 AM Re: child obssessed with porn need healthy coping idea [Re: Trish4850]
glad2beme Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 8
Thanks for the reply, I agree some of this is to be expected, I personally don't want it around, I don't want temptation in any form in his way or mine for that matter. The porn he fixates on is lesbian porn and he will not hesitate to get to it no matter the consequence, he says he thinks at times if he was a girl it would make the relationship with his mother better. It won't she just is not there emotionally. She neglected him most of his life and even when she comes to visit him she doesn't spend time with him. I try to talk about what is going on however when you approach the topic of sexual misuse he shuts down totally. The counselor has the same problem. I appreciate the thought provoking questions.


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