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#17411 - 12/19/01 07:08 PM Hi I'm New

My real name is Paul and i'm from the UK.I'm here because in the UK i am very rare,I was from the age of 3 till I was 13 r*ped and ab*sed by my mother.I am trying to find men who have been ab*sed like me to try and find some answers and ideas in how to survive and get on with my life.At the moment things are very bad and I am struggling.My e-mail adress is up so please mail me if you think you can help or know of some-one who can.Take care Skippy/Paul.

#17412 - 12/20/01 03:54 AM Re: Hi I'm New
Thad Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 08/28/01
Posts: 1752
Loc: Oakland, CA
Welcome, we are all abuse survivors here and you are hardly rare. I was abused by my mom, also from very early 0 or 1 until 6 or 7 and then emotional abuse for the rest of my childhood. I didn't remember it until many years later.

I think being abused by your mom is one of the hardest part of it because we deserved her love and the security of her being mom but didn't get it. For me, I could never trust anyone - ever - and it screwed up my sense of sexual identity - and I had to live with body sensations that I did not understand - I was suicidal by age 7 and became the problem child of the family - like it was all on me - and no one talked about anything so I ended up thinking I was a "freak of nature" - (any of this sound familiar?)

What really helped me was coming to a place like this where I saw that I was not alone. I also got to see that a lot of my symptoms were just that - symptoms of my abuse - and that many others here had similar symptoms and had ways of dealing with them - It also helped to just tell my story and live with the reality of it among men who I knew would not judge me. I also could learn about how others got support where they lived - about choosing a therapist or finding a men's group.
I hope that you will come back often and read the posts in the discussion room. The chat room gives us a chance to talk with each other and best of all, it is safe. If you want to talk or exchange privately - please feel free to contact me at

You have made a big step - looking for help - and it takes courage to face this - be patient with yourself and remember that you are not alone......thad

"..this place isn't a discussion's a portal..." Lupin
"The truth will set you free, but first it will probably piss you off." dwf's AA sponsor.

#17413 - 12/20/01 08:51 PM Re: Hi I'm New
fmighell Offline

Registered: 02/19/01
Posts: 276
Loc: Anchorage,Alaska
I've alwaysed loved my Mother or what I thought was love.
She was kind and caring at times but the other times. She was drunk, scary and mean.
We use to tickle play before I was pushed away.
I didn't want to go home from school.
She broke my heart.
Wreck many Christmas and couldn't cook.
All the times she was phscially hurt and tried to kill herself many times.
Why oh why, then all I wanted was for her to tell me, everything was going to be alright.
She never did.
fmighell anc ak

#17414 - 12/22/01 02:16 AM Re: Hi I'm New
SoCalJohn Offline

Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California

This is a good place, good people here, and your not alone.

Keep coming back, Keep talking, I am glad you found this place, i am glad your here.


I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

#17415 - 12/22/01 02:50 PM Re: Hi I'm New
abcd Offline

Registered: 10/20/00
Posts: 189
Loc: GA
Hello Skippy!

Welcome to NOMSV! It's a good place, and though I haven't been here of late--it has really helped me in the past year that I've been on here. There are just many comforting from people here who really seem to care because they have been there, you know? For instance, one of the posters here really struck a chord with me of the most comforting things here is just to realize that you are not alone. While we will and should not attribute everything to our abuse, it is nice to know that some of our issues are abuse issues (this way, we know to overcome it--for me, two of my largest issues are trust and needlessly complicating relationships--they are something I now I should conquer having been made aware of its causes). While I do not know precisely what your circumstances are, I am sure that we will be able to relate with you. For me, I believe I am one of the younger posters here (at 23) and one of the ones who are perhaps in the earliest stages of "recovery", but I can't tell you how often I can empathize with this group and how helpful they have been. The point here is that I think you should continue to visit because you will see that there is a community out there (even if in America) who can empathize, or at least sympathize, with you (incidentally, I'm sure there are others too in the UK--you're not alone). Anyway, welcome to the board, congrats for finding the courage to post on here, and just keep your head up--it's the holidays : )

[ December 22, 2001: Message edited by: abcd ]


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