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#16981 - 10/31/02 11:32 PM hello men
bec Offline

Registered: 10/03/02
Posts: 187
Loc: chicagoland area
just wanna check in with everyone. i'm not feeling real good. earlier i took my father to the airport so he could fly back to california and his second family.

it was tough. i felt sad to see him go. he had been in town for some months while taking care of business.

i love the man with all his humanness, all his imperfection. he abandoned me from my birth in favor of his addiction, work. but, i still love him.

my therapist once said that the majority of parents do their best. it is the rare parent who intentionally hurts their child. i believe this.

i believe my father did his best. he also has been diagnosed with a mental illness like i. so that just adds to his challenges.

he arrives late tonight, God willing, and he need call tomorow.

i wished him well and asked him to say hello to his family for me. we'll miss him but at the same time we'll feel a little freer.

you see sometimes when we are around him we can feel uncomfortable, restricted, even overwhelmed. he can be highly controlling. a number of others have noticed this about him and felt uneasy around him as well. so there there were days when i needed to limit our time near him for our own well being.

changing subjects, we had some strong porn desires earlier but we fought them off. oops, someone just sat down next to us here in the library. we do not feel comfy continuing this. so that is all for now. take care men


#16982 - 11/01/02 01:12 AM Re: hello men
Roy Offline

Registered: 08/02/02
Posts: 184
Loc: Los Angeles
hello bec,

i have noticed in your writings here that you frequently use "we" when referencing yourself and i wonder what you mean by that. sometimes you use "i", so it is a little confusing. i thought you had stated earlier that you are single but maybe i got that wrong. anyway, i was just curious about who was included in "we".

#16983 - 11/01/02 02:20 AM Re: hello men
Mark R Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 04/14/02
Posts: 29
Loc: Palm Springs, CA therapist sent me a note today..."Parents do as parents know". It doesn't do any good to blame, but acknowledge the bad along with the good. Sometimes it is very confusing when the feelings are conflicting. I often have many feelings at the same time. That's ok too. I understand your "pluralness"...we all have many sides to us..not all of us choose to label those sides like you do. But that's OK too. I hope you find some time to write more when you're comfortable. Thanks for coming here. Be well. Mark


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