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#167653 - 07/19/07 01:49 AM Re: had enough [Re: FormerTexan]
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
BTW, I don't consider this "off topic". This is all part of your abuse, the same goes for your other post "sharing the pain". Just letting you know what I think.

#167687 - 07/19/07 09:22 AM Re: had enough [Re: FormerTexan]
Nyjah Offline

Registered: 07/15/07
Posts: 610
Its hard to believe a parent doesn't love you or want you to be around. It really hurts a ton.

My mom ditched us after she found out both me and my dad had been abused. She blamed us, told us she hated us because we never stood up to him and we were f*gs because we "obviously" like it because we didn't stop it. Those words hurt so much coming from my mom. I thought she would come back and tell me how much she loved me and hold me like she did when I was little. I thought she'd hug my dad and they would dance like they used to when I was little. But that never happened. She'd send hateful emails to me and to my dad. I could never block her cos she'd come up with a new email. It was like she made it her lifes' goal to make mine a total hell. She killed herself earlier this year. She never said she was sorry. She never said she loved us. She blamed us for her suicide, saying it was all our fault. I know its not exactly the same as what you're going through, but I hope it helps in some way.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I know how much it hurts and how much you want it all to just go away and for them to apologize.

Take care bro,


#167707 - 07/19/07 02:34 PM Re: had enough [Re: Nyjah]
Hauser Offline

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2963
Loc: United States
Nyjah sadly proves that there is plenty of bad and (as Larry says) toxic people that need to be cut out of GOOD people's lives.

#167714 - 07/19/07 03:20 PM Re: had enough [Re: Hauser]
Nyjah Offline

Registered: 07/15/07
Posts: 610
Yea...I dunno. Its hard to believe that she was one of those "toxic people" cos she was my mom. And I loved her a lot and even after she was gone I was all mixed up inside...I still love her. She's my mom.

#167715 - 07/19/07 03:30 PM Re: had enough [Re: Nyjah]
lorraine Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 27
Loc: Texas
Mom sounded mentally ill. I don't think you could have done anything for her. Pray that she will be at peace now. Maybe that is what you can give to her to help your healing.

I can do nothing to change my childhood but I am in the driver's seat now as an adult!

#167723 - 07/19/07 04:26 PM Re: had enough [Re: lorraine]
Alexander Offline

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 223
Loc: The Netherlands
I don't have a whole lot to ad to what's been said already, just wanted to reply though.
I have an idea what you're talking about, as my parents never cared one bit about me either... By age of 8,9 I was at home on my own 75% of the time if not more.
When I finally told school about their 'friend', dad came to yell at me in the hospital and to tell me they were kicking me out. And since I heard I've got cancer they've not even send a postcard or anything. They do know, since my contactperson from youthcare told them. I guess it's something you need to learn to let go.. Cause they won't change... And hoping for some kind of attention, contact, apology... It just hurts you more. They ain't worth it. Sure they are your biological parents... But have they ever done something to be worthy of the title mom, dad, parents? And if yes they sure lost that right.
I know it's easier said then done, just try it I guess. And follow everyone's advice... Send those letters back, unopened. Get that no contact order...
Take care,


Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
And I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

#167727 - 07/19/07 05:21 PM Re: had enough [Re: Alexander]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12074
Loc: Denver, CO

"Its hard to believe that she was one of those "toxic people" cos she was my mom."

It creates quite a conflict, doesn't it? My mother is also one of those toxic people. She has mellowed with age (in her 70s now), but she should never have had kids. Part of me wants to avoid her because of the past, and part of me wants my mother.

Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#167729 - 07/19/07 05:45 PM Re: had enough [Re: Alexander]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Originally Posted By: Nyjah
I still love her. She's my mom.

Originally Posted By: Alexander
And hoping for some kind of attention, contact, apology... It just hurts you more.

Originally Posted By: FormerTexan
Part of me wants to avoid her because of the past, and part of me wants my mother.

It tears me up to hear these stories of hurt and pain caused by the cruelty of the one person who should love us the most - our mothers. I doubt that any of us, no matter how badly we have been hurt, can really ever give up on our yearnings for a mother's love. That's a need every boy has - and men too. My heart goes out to you all.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#167731 - 07/19/07 06:14 PM Re: had enough [Re: roadrunner]
healingpartner Offline

Registered: 04/04/07
Posts: 407
As a mother, I want to go pound on everyone of these women. They were incubators, not mothers. I am so sorry for all your pain...

That is the kicker...we all want our mommy. I don't know what to say. I am embarrassed for my gender.

#167801 - 07/19/07 10:49 PM Re: had enough [Re: healingpartner]
Lazarus Offline

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
No, HP it's not your gender. I used to be embarrassed for my gender to, until I figured out that not all men are like that. Not all women are like that either...

I guess to be betrayed by a parent, especially an opposite sex parent (you know how girls love their Daddys and boys love their Mommys) is about as bad as it gets. My Mom is pretty non-committal, and that is bad enough. But to have your folks tell you, "You are bad and we are through with you," is the worst betrayal I can imagine. My heart goes out to you.

All I can say is that some people should be sterilized at puberty. Problem is, how do we tell which ones?

With all I've been through, and as distorted as many of my feelings and emotions are because of my abuse, I have always felt that my kids are the most important thing in the world. Any parent who things otherwise is, in my opinion, wrong and evil and self-centered and should never have been alowed to have kids in the first place. See above paragraph...

I don't understand it, I won't accept it, and I can't tolerate it. Parents like that should burn in hell right next to all the rest of those who torment, abuse and neglect the most precious and fragile of all things; a child. I hate them for what they do and I cannot think of a punishment that is too bad for them.

There! Got that off my chest.


"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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