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#166753 - 07/15/07 09:09 AM Healing Circles Really Work
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
For the past 3 months groups of guys have been meeting at chat in a private room and holding peer support healing circles. We use the chat room format with a few changes. One of the members of the group is the facilitator who directs the meeting. Only one person is speaking at a time. Most of the meeting is open for talking about issues we are working on.

We all get an opportunity in the circle that many of us don't get in the outside world - the chance to share something that is pressing against our hearts, and to get some realtime feedback from people who at some level or another understand and feel that pain or concern. In turn, we all get an opportunity to help someone who is hurting and needs our support. That to me is what helps make this community a good one.

Many of you either weren't here back in April or choice not to be a part of this experiment in healing. I just want you to know that the
Healing Circles Really Work.
This post is a way to let you know what the Healing Circles mean to us.

At this time we would like to give you all a chance to join us in the Circles.
Former Texan and Shadowkid will be starting a new Healing Circle on Wed nights.
Look for a new post with the sign up notice soon.


Below is our mission statement.

Welcome to the healing circle.

We understand that the road is easier when not traveled alone and therefore the purpose of this circle is to provide a place of safety for men who as children or in adulthood have been victims of sexual abuse and or assault. Here, one can express his thoughts, fears, joys, or anger and know that his voice will be heard by others who will understand and validate him as a human being. Here, the focus is not so much on the past as it is on healing. Naturally the past and its abuse will come up from time to time but the purpose is to find a way through it to the healing that awaits on the other side. We will look at our journeys to see where we are on the road to healing and discuss things that work for us as well as things that do not. We will learn from the mistakes and successes of others and thus promote healing in our own lives.

Sessions in this circle are not intended to take the place of regular sessions with a therapist. It should be thought of as a group of friends traveling similar roads all headed for the common goal of healing. It is highly recommended that members of this forum either currently be in therapy or already have dealt with these issues over the years with a therapist.

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#166757 - 07/15/07 10:12 AM Re: Healing Circles Really Work [Re: Muldoon]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

Since you asked for feedback for the benefit of other guys who aren't in a circle yet, I'd be happy to comment on how important mine is to me.

The main benefit for me is that I get the opportunity to liaise in real time with other survivors about issues that concern all of us. It's great to give and receive support and to think about our issues in a safe environment where we all get a chance to speak.

The structure of the circle is set up in such a way that we can all relax, feel safe, and follow the lead of the facilitator. Our facilitators in my circle (Former Texan and Muldoon) are great leaders and they seem to accommodate the needs of all of us so expertly and so smoothly.

Our group has turned into a little fraternity where we all feel comfortable with each other. We can - and do! - talk about anything, and I think it helps all of us to be able to do that and then see right away that we aren't judged or blamed for anything we are saying.

To guys who are not in a circle yet, I would say give it a try. Take the risk! It may seem awkward and embarrassing at first, and sure, that's a natural reaction. But I bet you will get over that really fast! The circles are a great healing experience and an important step in our journey of recovery.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#166786 - 07/15/07 03:30 PM Re: Healing Circles Really Work [Re: roadrunner]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
one thing the group does for me is give me something to look forward to ,when you spent your life just kinda rolling with the punches ,not connected to anything or anybody ,its so cool to have something like consistent i guess it is ,i have someplace to be! and its an important place .hard to explain but somehow it gives structure to my life ,for me planning ahead meant thinking about 5 minutes into the future cause i never knew if id be around a week from now ,now i plan a whole week ahead to be at the group ,and the weeks will turn into months ,thanks guys for helping me want to see what life will be like a week from every sunday adam


#166783 - 13 minutes 30 seconds ago Re: Healing Circles Really Work [Re: shadowkid]
shadowkid shadowkid

Registered: 11-18-2005
Posts: 1926
Loc: ohio also i think the circles really help me see how people change and make progress, cause i know where this person was a week or two ago and i can see the changes happen . and its more of a personal thing ,almost like a team ,where each player is as important as the others, it takes all of us together to make it work ,there is no i in team . one week a guy may only be able to ask for help but a week later that same guy is the one giving the help to somebody else. as you get to know the guys you get to know how they will respond ,and you dont have to worry oh if i say this maybe someone will be offended. the circles work for me . also being asked to help with the new circle is one of the most healing things thas happened since i been here . adam

its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

#166997 - 07/16/07 09:15 PM Re: Healing Circles Really Work [Re: shadowkid]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Un-paid Testimonial:

The Healing Circle has meant SO much to me!!! I'm like Adam...I look forward to Sunday nights in a BIG way!!!!



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