*big hugs to you*
I am very similar to you in that I was the "good boy" growing up. I was the only child from a very right winged fundementalist family. I was expected to grow up, have kids, be married, etc. All the life of a typical hetero person. BUT, I was not. I came out when I was 17 to my mother first. She cried and wondered what she did wrong. 3 years later, I told my dad. He was very upset and placed me in Aversion Therapy with a group called Exodus International.
But, after 8 months in the program, my sexuality didn't change. I still knew I was gay. I still had feelings for other guys.
You are not alone in the lonely feelings. I still have them myself even thought I have two wonderful partners who love and adore me everyday.
Big hugs to you.
Oh!!! Congrats on your graduation! Very proud of your accomplishments.
" You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind music
Even if nobody else sings along"
From "Make Your Own Kind of Music" by Mama Cass Elliott of the Mamas and Papas