“Messed in the head” By: Kirk Gilbert © 2005

My past on my mind, day after day is a challenge like Alaskan snow crab fishing. My thoughts are like cob webs that break with the slightest of touch. Thoughts within my mind intertwine. It is not intended for man. It is felt that one is as a dried fall leaf that shatters from the grip of a hateful soul like that leaf under the force of a dangerous ghost. My bed is soaked from my pores brought upon by the memories in a state of unconsciousness. Fear of the unknown can lead to destruction of the soul and mind that brings horror to the already hounded soul so lost in this madding life. My atlas of my journey is mixed and unclear as to the direction I turn. Every step I take is on my way home down a dark road fill with fear. As I walk in this world that was not meant for me I see the hell in the eyes of close souls by my side, and so far away that I have not set eyes on before. I look upon faces I have never seen before unto those I hate including the face I see everyday looking back unto my eyes. I hate so much I can not escape. I feel this sickness inside that brings me to view that of six feet. I look to my road so messed up lost in a life I can not escape from this madness inside that shivers in an icy felt thought. I view the dots as a whole that reminds me we are one for I am not alone. This road although dark is long. Allowing the one inside know that I do have room to move. To be who I want to be messed up or not from the depth inside of my head.

"I will never forget, nor shall I choose too remember."