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#159002 - 05/30/07 05:32 AM Re: not being listened too or believed [Re: hangingon]
scotia1 Offline

Registered: 05/27/07
Posts: 81
Well Guys, I too have felt as if no one was listening to me for years. However, like Mark… said “sometimes we need to say things several ways for people to understand them” . I have been trying to explain to my family, friends, police and other authorities about my sexual abuse for 20 years now. I have tried in many many different ways. I went to the police 14 years ago and it has really only been in the last year or so that people are starting to understand. Why? I don’t know. All I know is I believe in what I am doing and I keep it up because I believe. I believe in me. I believe my abuser was wrong, not me. I believe that all abusers are wrong, not the children. I believe the general society is basically wrong about the way it views child sexual abuse. I believe most of my family is wrong about the way they view CSA. We are right and they are wrong, period! Most people are simply ignorant about CSA. We must figure out a way to make them understand, that’s the way I see it.

Sorry for putting things so bluntly.


#159035 - 05/30/07 12:52 PM Re: not being listened too or believed [Re: scotia1]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

I was very lucky in that when I disclosed to my parents two years ago I was talking to two people who had been through the 60s and 70s as adult leaders in a local youth coffeehouse run by our church. They had seen the whole gamut of hellish issues that kids could endure, and they were well aware of the terrible fear that young people have of not being believed. So when I disclosed to them they had the resources and experience to see in my situation a re-enactment of what they were already pretty familiar with.

If they had not had that experience they might have reacted to me differently, who knows. But would that have meant that they cared for me less, or loved me less? I don't think so.

What I'm getting at here is that we are ALL struggling with issues that society doesn't yet take as seriously as it should. There has been professional awareness since the mid-80s, but still, I think it's fair to say that the sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic church that began a few years ago exploded into a social world that wasn't at all ready for it, or aware of what might be happening right under its nose.

What that means for us is that when we find that we aren't believed, or not listened to, we are in large part running up against this element of ignorance. Society hasn't yet processed the information that has been available for the past few years, and when a specific individual fails to believe us or take us seriously that may just reflect this broad ignorance. That is, it doesn't necessarily relflect some callous disregard or evil intent on the part of that person.

Sure, there are plenty of toxic and dangerous people out there and we do need to be wary of them. But perhaps it's also useful to recognize that so far as awareness of CSA is concerned, WE ourselves are the pioneers in bringing this to the attention and action it needs. There really are hordes of people out there who just "don't get it".

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#159301 - 06/01/07 07:26 AM Why do you feel not being listened to or believed? [Re: Morning Star]
Morning Star Offline

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home

Have you noticed how easily we hush up our inner voice, as a mere overreaction or doubt it so easily? It is actually disrespecting and denying our inner voice, no wonder so many of us feel ‘not heard enough’ and valued or respected.

We are never overreacting enough when we are responding our body’s innate defense mechanism - the intuition. Feeling awkward, uneasy, or queasy are clear signs that something is a miss.

And if we slow down enough we would all be bale to read the signs, it is just that we allow logic or reason to have its way above intuition.

Morning Star

~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

#159501 - 06/02/07 09:44 PM Re: Why do you feel not being listened to or believed? [Re: Morning Star]
hereforus Offline

Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 82
Loc: usa
i know what you mean ms. i have to work hard at slowing myself down. and once again it pays off. my company did listen to me again. (do they ever learn?) i had a bad feeling about his load before i ever left to pick it up. i said "no im not taking this" they put it on me anyways. so i left to go pick it up. the trailer is broke. after hours of waiting for the repair man to show up, they tell me they wont have the part till monday. i called my boss and he said i can now drop the trailer where it sits and go for food. (i have not eatn in a few money..i had to "not be nice" to get him to give me an authorization number for a company check so i can eat. oh and i had no money coz the company screwed up my pay again. they said they can fix it monday i told them about the problem on thursday!) i had to slow myself and let fate take over again. when will people learn to listen? gggrrrr

love ya all stacks

"I will never forget, nor shall I choose too remember."

#159503 - 06/02/07 09:48 PM Re: Why do you feel not being listened to or believed? [Re: hereforus]
hereforus Offline

Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 82
Loc: usa
another point on the side of abuse.... What will it take to get people to listen and believe?

"I will never forget, nor shall I choose too remember."

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