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#156646 - 05/17/07 03:21 PM Male victims no different ...
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1798
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Sex abuse survivor: Male victims no different than female victims

(Original Publication: May 17, 2007)

For more information on male sexual victims, visit the National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization at:

SOMERS - Whenever a female teacher is accused of having sexual contact with a male student - as was the case last week with Lakeland High School social studies teacher Stephanie Gross - comments are invariably made about how lucky the student is, especially if the teacher is considered attractive.

Somers resident Curtis St. John said he cringes when he hears those cavalier remarks.

St. John, 38, is president-elect of MaleSurvivor: the National Organization on Male Sexual Victimization and a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. He said that society and the media need to understand that boys who are sexually victimized by older women are just that -victims. St. John was 10 when he was abused by a male.

"You may find that in 10 years this young man, or others in similar situations, will grow up with alcohol issues, relationship issues and anger issues but will never look at the root cause," St. John said yesterday, the same day that Gross, 24, of Mohegan Lake pleaded not guilty in Elmsford Village Court to having sexual contact with a 16-year-old boy inside a parked car.

"When they try to figure out why they're self-medicating at age 30, they won't look at the cause - that they were victimized sexually -because the media and their friends have been telling them how lucky they were," St. John said. "Many of these victims will grow up with the same issues as victims of male offenders."

Gross, who lost her teaching job Monday, is the latest in a string of cases nationwide where older women, often teachers, have been accused or convicted of having improper sexual relations with minor boys, often their students.

The most notorious is, perhaps, Mary Kay Letourneau, a teacher in Washington state who was 34 and married with children when she had sex with her 12-year-old student. She was convicted of statutory rape and served several years in state prison before being discharged. She later married the boy.

Recently in New York, the 40-year-old headmistress of an exclusive Manhattan Montessori School was sentenced to 14 years in state prison after she was convicted of having seduced two of her male students - one in 1996 when he was 13 and the second in 2001 when he was 12. The Ossining school district was ordered by a federal jury in 2004 to pay $375,000 to a former star high school basketball player for failing to properly supervise a school secretary who had a two-year affair with him.

St. John, director of operations at the Conservatory of Music at Purchase College, SUNY, recalled hearing Jon Stewart of "The Daily Show" commenting on the Letourneau case.

"He said, 'We'll call her Mary Kay and we'll call him Lucky.' But would he speak like that if we were talking about a 34-year-old man and a 13-year-old girl?" St. John said.

#156698 - 05/17/07 06:01 PM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: Curtis St. John]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12132
Loc: Denver, CO
"We'll call her Mary Kay and we'll call him Lucky"

His rotten comment assumes that males will take sex regardless of the time of development or the source. He makes me wanna barf.

Curtis, I'm proud of you!

Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#156702 - 05/17/07 06:16 PM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: FormerTexan]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Excellent article Curtis. I really hope people truly read it and take heart in the message. Good for you and thanks.


If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#156707 - 05/17/07 06:46 PM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: Trish4850]
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Thanks for putting the public straight on the issue.
Many boys would be far too embarrassed to take a
woman to Court especially if she is a good looker.

We will never get the public to think that boys have
the same emotional needs as girls.
I would say they have more because they are meant to
be strong and not seen as weak,


Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

#156763 - 05/18/07 01:36 AM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: reality2k4]
WalkingSouth Offline

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16270
Loc: Waldport, Oregon
I just lost any respect I had for Jon Stewart

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting 'Holy Shit! What a ride!'" ~Hunter S. Thompson

#156764 - 05/18/07 01:46 AM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: WalkingSouth]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Originally Posted By: walkingsouth
I just lost any respect I had for Jon Stewart

I didn't have any for him to start with, so I had no more to lose.

Good going there, Curtis!


#156807 - 05/18/07 11:20 AM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: Curtis St. John]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1798
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Thanks for the support everyone.

I found the original post from '05 that started it all. Please don't send any notes or make phone calls... I don't know if these folks even work there anymore but I'll do some research and if they do I'll forward the article to them.

Daily Show thread

#157551 - 05/22/07 09:47 PM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: Curtis St. John]
Chain Breaker Offline

Registered: 04/21/07
Posts: 376
Loc: Michigan
Wow, that Jon Stewart comment really stings me as a survivor. I've always liked Jon Stewart, but I didn't know about this. This changes things. Curtis, thanks for your part in the article and for your articulate way you handled these questions on our behalf.

My name is Joe. I am a survivor and a good man. You can count on me.


"[Insert your name here], I am [Chain Breaker]. Do you see that I am your friend? Can you see that you will always be my friend?"
--Wind In His Hair, Dances With Wolves

#158352 - 05/26/07 11:29 PM Re: Male victims no different ... [Re: Chain Breaker]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Thanks so much Curtis. It's great having someone like you to lead us as President.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)


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