Newest Members
jez, Long Way Home, Bcbornleo, Orko, molander
13593 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
darkangel116 (39), eddyg (50), Esterio (63), lileddie (61), mrmold (65), Pieter (57), shawna (39), Thomas1701 (29)
Who's Online
3 registered (ajm5605, 2 invisible), 35 Guests and 2 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
13,593 Registered Members
75 Forums
70,680 Topics
493,643 Posts

Most users ever online: 418 @ 07/02/12 11:29 AM
Topic Options
#155363 - 05/10/07 12:58 AM He burned himself....
sadsister Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/24/06
Posts: 16
Loc: London UK

I am in shock and total dispair. My brother who was abused by his biological father as a child is struggling with substance abuse.. the other day he forgot that he was heating oil, it started to burn and he poured water onto it... which he probably never would have done had he not been on Xanax.. the oil exploded in his hands and face. He has third degree burns everywhere and may need a skin graft, he may even lose some fingers. Does the pain and destruction never end????? I am praying that this will be the shock, the final wake-up call that he needs to get help, to accept what happened to him was a dreadful, unforgivable thing but that it happened and that he has the power to choose to move on.. and end the subtance abuse.. and gain his life back.
I am now trying to come to terms with his possible disfigurement and his handicap. It makes me want to vomit. As if he didn't hurt enough inside, now he has to walk around with permanent scars on the outside. I blame his abusor for these scars. He never would have had them without the Xanax, he never would have become addicted to Xanax without the abuse.

#155366 - 05/10/07 01:06 AM Re: He burned himself.... [Re: sadsister]
sweet-n-sour Offline

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 409
Loc: chicago
Dear Sadsister:

I am sorry to hear about your brother. I know it isn't much but I am offering you a supportive (((hug.))) I will keep your brother in my thoughts. Please keep us up to date to let us know how he is doing.

Please hang in there. If you need to talk, remember we are all here for one another.


"As long as he continues to try, I will meet him in that determination and commitment."

cm 2007

#155557 - 05/11/07 12:08 AM Re: He burned himself.... [Re: sweet-n-sour]
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey

I am so sorry for your brother and for you. Burns are so painful and disfiguring, he must feel beyond awful. Be with him as much as you can. Maybe his time away from self medicating will be the kick he needs to start helping himself. If it is, he'll need you there for support. This is horrible, MG I'm sorry.


If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

#155598 - 05/11/07 09:15 AM Re: He burned himself.... [Re: Trish4850]
soapy bubbles Offline

Registered: 09/05/06
Posts: 332
Loc: london
I didn't reply to your post a couple of days ago when it first appeared - I was so saddened by what had happened that I didn't know what to say.

Then I realised that what I did was like when someone has a bereavement and friends cross the road so that they don't have to speak to them because they don't know how to express themselves to the person who is mourning. This makes the ignored person think his/her friends don't care.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in my own long-winded fashion, is that there's little I can do in a practical sense, but I'm thinking of you and wishing your brother a successful recovery.

SB x

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.” --- Eleanor Roosevelt

#155627 - 05/11/07 02:56 PM Re: He burned himself.... [Re: sadsister]
honey girl Offline

Registered: 10/09/06
Posts: 245
Loc: Midwest US
Dear Sad Sister,
I am so sorry for your brother and for you that this challenge is here for you now.
I wish there were a way of undoing this injury. It's not fair at all. I hope that your prayers for his recovery will be answered.
Who knows yet how bad the possible disfigurement might be. Here, too, you have awful prospects for the near term. On the other hand, a loving heart will help you adjust, as fearful as you may feel now. No question, this is a heavy burden.
I agree with Soapy Bubbles--there is so little one can say to be of use at such a sad time, and obviously nothing we can do of a practical nature, even. But the thoughts and prayers I can add to those already sent your way, along with the other help you will find, may yet be useful to you.
At the risk of saying the obvious, I'll remind you that in this stressful period it is even more important to take care of yourself. Grief and worry can make people slow and careless too, and you need to be attending to your own health if you want to be of help to your brother. And as always, the ability to model hope and pleasure in living is an important gift that we offer the survivors in our lives--by way of invitation and encouragement to rejoin the dance.
My heart goes out to you both.

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger, a million miles away from home.

#156389 - 05/16/07 08:23 AM Re: He burned himself.... [Re: honey girl]
sadsister Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/24/06
Posts: 16
Loc: London UK
Thanks everyone. This is such an amazing place. I look so hard for people around me, for friends who can understand what we are going through but nobody is there. My friends try, but they don't come close to "hitting home" like all of you do here. To know I can log on here and have strangers give me words of peace is such a beautiful thing! I read the book called "The Secret" the other day. It's all about the power of positive visualization. I am now visualizing my brother all healed up and happy and in recovery every day.. I will keep you posted. He is stabilized and they have not made a decision on a graft or amputation yet.


Moderator:  ModTeam, peroperic2009 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.