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#155210 - 05/09/07 12:55 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Hauser]
FormerTexan Offline

Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 12074
Loc: Denver, CO

I know. I feel pretty friggin' played myself. I had PMd "it" since "it" reached out to me. For all we know, the thread last night that gave the "truth" was part 3 of on ongoing experiment. The whole thing feels like crap.

Money talks, but all it tells me is goodbye.

If I could meet myself as a boy...

#155211 - 05/09/07 12:56 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Hauser]
buzz_key Offline

Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 635
Loc: USA

I don't know what happened, it sounds like someone was pretending to be a survivor and wasn't....can't IMAGINE why ANYONE would want to take on this..

Anyway...I am sorry brother, but don't let it veer you away from the course.

Good news: I am set up totally, and confirmed for the Mike Lew event!!!


#155218 - 05/09/07 01:28 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: buzz_key]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
rob i think its only intention was to do exactly what it did hurt as many people as much as it could ,it wasnt a him or her it was a fucking perp ,the only reason for the confession post was to make sure we knew we been used ,it didnt work unless we knew it was all a lie,fuck that pig rob ,so what if it was a lie?you gave your support and thats what matters,right? you responded exactly right and if it was a lie well then thats one time we got fooled ,but what about all the real survivors that you have responded to and helped so much? if we fall apart its the same old story ,that bastard wins ,hes not gonna get his kicks using my emotions against me.bottom line rob?you saw someone in need and you tried to help ,thats all.that does not change who you are or why you offered help. besides it didnt really care about posting or responses ,dont give up on the rest of us dude!i mean really is it such a big deal?all it is ,is we got a little of the real world here in this safe place. the only way i can describe what happened is we all got groomed ,yeah groomed just like when we were kids maybe thats why it hurts huh?dont let one asshole ruin such a good thing k?adam

its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

#155219 - 05/09/07 01:44 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
MemoryVault Offline

Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Yeah, it was grooming.

1. Post some nice, supportive replies to other people. Offer friendship.

2. Post a really harsh self-hating one-liner guaranteed to get people to worry and post reassurances.

3. PM the people who respond.

4. Announce permanent departure from the board. Wait for people to welcome you back.

5. Come back next day. Return to Step 1. Repeat five times.

6. Change identity. Repeat entire cycle.

#155223 - 05/09/07 02:01 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: MemoryVault]
pietie Offline

Registered: 01/23/07
Posts: 326
Loc: South Africa
I dont know what happened either. Whatever it is, you are still one of the most valued friends in here to me. If it wasnt for all the support and good friends in here after the bad experience I had I ont know if I would have ever came back. I took on the victim approach and blamed myself for what happened.

So whatever it was that happened, I know you well and it was not your fault.

Not Perfect, just forgiven

#155248 - 05/09/07 03:39 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Hauser]
mack Offline

Registered: 03/07/07
Posts: 101
Loc: new mexico
I get the jist of what happened. I know you spent alot of time with this person, hopefully it won't deter you from being the great guy that you are. Rob, you have helped me so much and it really pisses me off that your good nature was taken advantage of. This only serves to show what a caring, compassionate person you are. In no way does it reflect negatively on you.


#155257 - 05/09/07 04:26 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: mack]
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
also your not the only one who got sucked in rob ,i feel like a foool to but what the hell feel that way most times anyway lol

its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

#155261 - 05/09/07 04:32 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: shadowkid]
Dewey2k Offline

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
I wrote a PM to someone who was hit by what happened really hard. I thought I might share it here, for what it's worth:

What I will say is that regardless of anything else, your willingness to help others shows your character. In an environment like this, we have to take what we see at face value until we have reason not to. Who knows when the person we are talking to on the other end really needs us to keep sane, or even to stay alive? If we treat every person as though it were real, even when we find a deception, then we don't have to worry that we might have let one survivor we could have helped slip through.

Just my thoughts...

#155293 - 05/09/07 06:05 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: Dewey2k]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA

What happened was this. Someone calling himself "Dan17" came on-site and began talking about abuse issues, claiming that he was at a party with mainly older guys, who got him drunk and then abused him in various ways. After a point this person announced his birthday and re-registered as "Dan18" and continued as before. He posted various aspects of his problems, but mainly he repeatedly said he was leaving for good, but then kept returning. Each time, of course, this served to focus attention on himself. He also PMed various people (including me) to talk about specifics and get into sometimes grim details of the abuse.

Finally he PMed me to say that he really was leaving for good, and I imagine he did that with others as well. He did in fact disappear, but almost immediately a new person registered as "Older Brother" and claimed to be Dan's sibling. He said that Dan had disclosed to him but that he had overreacted and slapped him. Again there were PMs, and again the result was to focus attention on the guy.

Last night, someone registered as "Truth" and admitted in the Off-Topic Forum that the whole thing was a fraud. The poster is an 18-year-old girl, a cutter, who is interested in abuse issues. She apologized and said she deeply regretted messing us about like this. That post attracted some comments, of course, and late last night the admin decided to remove the thread.

As I and others have said elsewhere, this person is a classic narcissist. She needs to have attention and craves it - positive or negative doesn't matter, it's the attention that she needs. People like this have serious issues of their own and of course don't belong here.

I know some guys have reacted strongly to this and feel they have been abused all over again. That's exactly the reason why the mods are so vigilant and keen on security issues here on the site. The last time we had something like this was in 2004, so considering how many people come and go here, I think we have a great record.

If anyone has worries or concerns, the best thing to do is TALK about it. Talk to someone you trust here: one of the mods or a close friend, for example. But don't sit and stew on it. That's no good. This is a terrible thing that has happened and it causes a lot of harm. But let's hang together and we can all move on. The really important priority is that this should not hijack what we are trying to achieve here - for ourselves and for each other.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#155296 - 05/09/07 06:22 PM Re: USE ME like the BITCH I AM! [Re: roadrunner]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Very well stated, Larry. The only thing I would modify in that is where you said "The poster is an 18-year-old girl" -- obviously, whether that is true is doubtful as well.

As you and I have talked about this offline, I stated that I had some suspicions about "Dan" early on, but unfortunately I didn't raise those concerns to a moderator earlier than I did, which was just a few nights ago. By that time, the mods were already starting to focus on him, which culminated in the event of last night. I don't want to see the MS board turn into a witchhunt with us looking for perps under every rock -- but I do think it illustrates something that we all need to learn from this, new guys as well as the old-time members. And that is that we need to recognize the internet for what it is -- a wide open space, and we need to keep ourselves safe, or as safe as we can be. If you have concerns about a poster, please voice those concerns to a moderator. I wish I had done so earlier. The mods are here to handle this kind of situation, and while they are roaming the boards a lot, they may not pick up on a lot of the nuances of a poster that could raise red flags. MemoryVault outlined it very well above, which are the things that raised my suspicions. While we are each here for our own recovery, I think we each need to help keep the community safe as well by being the eyes and ears of the community.

Larry's last point of talking about the aftermath of this is very important. This horrible breach of trust has shaken a lot of us, and rightly so. Please don't let this cause you to turn inwards and towards isolation, because we are all too familiar with that. Talk about how you feel and what is going on inside, it's important to get that out.

Edited by EGL (05/09/07 06:33 PM)

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