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#153234 - 04/28/07 08:18 PM My Ts opinion re: my confusion
onlyakid Offline

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1575
Loc: New Jersey
**possible triggers**

I was talking to my therapist about my sexual confusion, I told her about one time where I was at a radio station event with friends, and there were girls flashing on stage and how I got an erection from it. She then tells me that because of this, I may be bisexual but I definately not strictly gay. That a gay man couldn't have this response to a women. I'm not so sure I believe her. I mean I want to believe her, trust me I do, but that sounds incorrect.

Have any of you (people who define themselves as gay) had an erection because of a women flashing.


"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"

#153239 - 04/28/07 08:49 PM Re: My Ts opinion re: my confusion [Re: onlyakid]
MemoryVault Offline

Registered: 03/02/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
Hey, JTT --

I don't think of sexuality as a set of fixed categories. I call myself "gay" because it has three letters and everyone understands what it means, and because I don't think I have felings for women often enough to start calling myself bisexual. But yes, I've been turned on by women. I don't know where the line between gay and bi is.

I'm more worried that your therapist seems to be making pronouncements about your sexual identity. Your identification is up to you--you don't get kicked out of the gay community for one sexual response. Or, if you want to think of yourself as bisexual, and you can be attracted to women, why not?


#153244 - 04/28/07 09:48 PM Re: My Ts opinion re: my confusion [Re: MemoryVault]
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
I'm with David!! "One win dosen't make a champion" but "more wins than loses" might make a champion. Know what I mean? There was only one time I was exclusively gay, from 13 through 20 when I promised/vowed my parents that I would stop having sex with girls (long story!!!) I was ONLY active with males!! I'm married 37 years, three children, one grandson! One of my teenage 'buddies' my same age has been actively and happily gay for more years than I am married!! It's not only defined by behaviors (what you do) but how you think, prefer, feel most comfortable, etc. Gay, Bi, Straight - are not really labels but describe a life you're comfortable with and committed to. It's ONE aspect of who you are and how you express yourself!! Just my opinion!!


If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

#153308 - 04/29/07 07:03 PM Re: My Ts opinion re: my confusion [Re: ScottyTodd]
dean1320 Offline

Registered: 02/06/07
Posts: 129
Loc: Atlanta, GA , US
I have had an erection from women and even climaxed before watching them on video with a man, but I don't worry about it. I think my sexuality in on a slide scale leaning toward men, that's all. There are some women out there that get me stirred up, mostly not though . It depends on the person, I guess.


#153315 - 04/29/07 08:20 PM Re: My Ts opinion re: my confusion [Re: onlyakid]
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I dont define myself as anything that abuse wants me to think.
The confused part of my mind is blown away by gay and hetero
porn, if I allow myself to watch, but I dont fancy men.
Sexuality is something that we had problems associating with, and making real meaningful relationships.

It just means that we are totally confused sexually, and have a hard time making a relationship, not through confusion of sexuality, but of not learning the real skills of relationships that would be gained in a normal childhood,


#153472 - 04/30/07 03:42 PM Re: My Ts opinion re: my confusion [Re: reality2k4]
pain4ever Offline

Registered: 04/05/01
Posts: 1032

Good question. I have been out now for 2 years and was previously married for 8 years to a woman. Do I get a response from women...Yes....but not as much as I do from Men.

Don't let you therapist tell you what you are. Deep down inside you will figure that out. In my opinion, The therapist should help you work through your thoughts or explore them more rather than sticking a label on you and calling you gay, straight or bi.

Sexuality, to most of us I believe, is one of the hardest things to be comfortable with. For me, I know where I stand now, but for you, you have to figure it out and that may take time.

Again all my opinion.


Peace and Tranquility all depends on your frame of reference.

#153502 - 04/30/07 05:23 PM Re: My Ts opinion re: my confusion [Re: pain4ever]
Dewey2k Offline

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
My opinion: Labels are for cans.

We are sexual beings, and we are each unique. What stimulates one person may have the opposite effect on another. I like what I like, and no label I can use will fully and adequately describe me. The only reason I use the term "gay" because, as David said above, it's a convenient way to describe my attractions, and not because it defines them. I don't pigeon-hole myself that way. I don't think anyone should, IMHO.


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