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#15287 - 05/06/03 10:47 AM Hope and Springtime
hanginon Offline

Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 89
Loc: sarasota, fl
Dear brothers,
Last week, I was looking for hope. Hope to get better and to heal the wounds of my past, hope that this was possible and I was not "doomed" to a lifetime of dispair and misery.

My T is working out well for me. I made some major breakthroughs last week about my anger and the shame that is so closely tied to the rage inside of me. I finally watched the movie, "Ma Vie en Rose" (My Life in Pink), which my T recommended I see. It helped me tremendously!

So much so, I finally agreed to see my ex-partner to talk about our recent split up. I was strong and vulnerable with him, honest about the work I've done and how much getting to a new plateau has been good for me. I surprisingly didn't feel pangs of hurt or regret around my "failed" relationship. I understand why this happened and am grateful that we are not together. I love him deeply, but I don't actually like him very much - if that makes sense.

At any rate, we spent a couple hours talking and walking our dogs and I left with a sense of dignity that I had lost since I spent Christmas with him and his family. I left him, went to a nursery and bought some plants, went home and planted them in the garden as a symbol of my new life without him in it.

I am sad that love eluded us in the end but thankful that I have the ability to leave it behind me. I feel GOOD and had an amazing Sunday afternoon with a fellow survivor in Washington, DC.

There is hope, brothers. It gets better if you work at making it so. I hope you all have a peaceful week.


walker, there is no path, you make a path as you go...

(caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar...)

Antonio Machado

#15288 - 05/06/03 12:14 PM Re: Hope and Springtime
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Dignity is something we fight so hard for, we've been deprived of it for far too long.

I'm glad you found yours, I hope the plants grow as well as you do.


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

#15289 - 05/06/03 04:30 PM Re: Hope and Springtime
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
John Glad to hear that things are moving forward in your life. Enjoy the plants as they grow and you begin a season of healing. Muldoon

Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#15290 - 05/06/03 08:30 PM Re: Hope and Springtime
Wuamei Offline

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
John this is so good to hear. Thanks for sharing it with us.


"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck


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