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#151602 - 04/19/07 01:16 AM Re: Just Checking In [Re: sweet-n-sour]
Brokenhearted Offline

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
SNS, no, not in couple's therapy yet. H keeps saying he's "not ready," why, I don't know....unless he wants separate counseling for himself now, which is fine w/ me, or maybe he's afraid I'll bring more of the important issues to the forefront for us to deal w/, such as his painful past that is affecting us left and right.

Thanks for your kind comments. It's hard at times....I guess that is why I take an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety pill. It keeps me stable while dealing w/ all the rollercoaster.

And yes, when our survivors are silent....we aren't sure if we need to worry or what. LIke we don't want them to shut us out again, right?


It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

#151682 - 04/19/07 01:31 PM Re: Just Checking In [Re: Brokenhearted]
sweet-n-sour Offline

Registered: 10/03/06
Posts: 409
Loc: chicago
Dear Brokenhearted:

Maybe your husband's therapist will eventually recommend couples therapy and he will agree. My husband was very fortunate to find a therapist that had experience with sexual abuse issues in addition to being a couples therapist. I believe he was able to sense how much my husband and I truly would like to make it through this together so he was able to help us work through some of the issues that were hovering over our heads.

I hope that you will be given the opportunity with your husband to have an unbiased opinion. Without knowing what is going on, without your husband confiding in you, it all must be feeding into your anxiety about it. I truly feel for you! This is all so difficult to begin with and yet, without being offered any sort of information it must be particularly difficult to cope with.

Keep your chin up Brokenhearted! Remember you are not alone here...we all understand because we are all facing similar circumstances everyday.

Best wishes,

"As long as he continues to try, I will meet him in that determination and commitment."

cm 2007

#151827 - 04/20/07 08:11 AM Re: Just Checking In [Re: sweet-n-sour]
beccy Offline

Registered: 05/28/06
Posts: 449
Loc: england

i just wanted to say my bf is also very distant and very quiet very often. I find it really really hard to deal with and totally get anxious about what's going on for him. Last night he was very distant and said he noticed i was different than usual and he said how nice that was. Actually for quite a long time time i haven't been really much bothering him when he goes distant. More like giving him space and me getting on with my own thing. Perhaps last night i was warmer towards him within that? Really though, it seems to me alot to ask of someone, that they are warm and loving, even though they're partner hardly speaks, or reassures about what's going on for them. I mean in the context of what's happened over the past year. Just a thought. I suppose that probably means i shouldn't do that again, as i'll only end up resentful? It gets hard to keep being the nice person you know you are..........


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