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#148993 - 04/05/07 06:49 AM Re: Kathy Lee on Today show [Re: Leosha]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
well put!!!

#149000 - 04/05/07 09:25 AM Re: Kathy Lee on Today show [Re: Leosha]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
I'm sure this point is also made in Mike Lew's book too, but I don't have my copy to hand to look it up. The "vampire myth", as it's called, is also debunked in a great list of CSA myths that's right here on the site - or used to be here. I can't find it at the moment, but it must be around somewhere.

As you start disclosing and losing your sense of shame and guilt about the abuse, guys, you do encounter people who will quite innocently fall into the trap of the vampire myth. One of my closest friends on earth did that; I disclosed to him and he almost immediately asked me if I wasn't afraid of becoming an abuser myself now. That would have freaked me out pretty good awhile back, but now I can see it as an opportunity to set someone straight. That's what I did, and my friend took it all very well and was grateful to me for clarifying the point for him.

If you find yourself in this situation it's pretty easy to illustrate the false logic of the vampire myth. "Most abusers have been abused as boys, therefore abused boys are likely to turn into abusers as adults" - that's like saying the following: "People who drown got wet first, therefore people who get wet are likely to drown".

I like the emphasis in this thread on educating the public without taking offense. We get a lot further with the public if they see us coming at them with concern that they be properly informed rather than indignation at an honest - and VERY common - mistake.

Much love,

Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

#149008 - 04/05/07 11:56 AM Re: Kathy Lee on Today show [Re: roadrunner]
onlyakid Offline

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1569
Loc: New Jersey
When other people send in emails, it might be better to have different quotes from different sources (books). You can easily do this by using google book search

search for victims go on to become abusers

"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"

#149022 - 04/05/07 01:36 PM Re: Kathy Lee on Today show [Re: onlyakid]
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Guys Can we start a thread to Ann called, Ann I am not a Abuser.

We can start the thread with a simple statement trying to educate her. Then we can all add our one or two line replys to it. We can email the link to the thread to Ann.

If we have 20 or 30 names on this list it would make her know she has wronged many survivors.


Edited by Muldoon (04/05/07 01:38 PM)
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#149026 - 04/05/07 02:04 PM Re: Kathy Lee on Today show [Re: Muldoon]
tartugas Offline

Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Great idea Tom. If it's not already started I will start it when I finish this.


Great letter! Thanks for sharing. This is exactly the kind of thing we need to do. I hope you letter will inspire more to write something similar in tone and message!


Can you come up with some more examples of the logical fallacy at play in the "vampire myth"?

Keep up the work everyone! ANd please let everyone you trust know and encourage them to contact Ms. Gifford and the Today show.

"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

#149027 - 04/05/07 02:11 PM Re: Kathy Lee on Today show [Re: tartugas]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1

Dramatic effect!!!

#149078 - 04/05/07 04:19 PM Re: Kathy Lee on Today show [Re: tartugas]
reality2k4 Offline

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6845
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
You can find it in the resource section of the site.
The invisible boy can be downloaded for free, just
google to it,


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